I might be in trouble.
See, when I started doing this I had been talking about doing it for over a year. I researched and dug and read and researched some more. I compiled a spreadsheet listing the most pertinent facts about each Nasty: UK titles, Actual titles (some of these films have over fifteen titles bestowed by carnival barker distributors), Directors, Country of origin, Running time (as best I could figure), What company released it on video or DVD, anything else that seemed relevant. The scarcity of information about some of these films is one of my reasons for undertaking the project: If I can watch them all and find out all I can, then compile that information in one place, the research of others might be made easier, not to mention that I would have created the databank I spent so much time searching for and had some fun along the way. There are books on the subject, of course, but since I live in the United States where interest in the subject is minimal the books need to be imported, leading to pricetags that I as a working stiff and family man cannot readily afford.
But books aren't what I really need right now. I need Nasties. Netflix has about forty. I've got ten and there's a bit of overlap there (I might have eleven if El Presidente's connections are good). There's twenty-five of these things that I've got to procure in some other manner. I've been screwed by modern technology, and it is not within my power to fix this.
There aren't any mom n' pop video shops anymore. First Blockbuster forced the smallest ones out of business, then Netflix finished off all the shops that were keeping themselves afloat with porno, and now they've pretty much KO'd Blockbuster as well.
Which is okay with me. But it still doesn't fix the lack of video shops. The video liquidator that used to be around went belly-up five years ago when someone moved an "adult novelty" shop into the same tiny strip mall. Again, porn was keeping the guy afloat. He closed his doors, and now the only options are the local library with 90 copies of Top Gun at a quarter apiece, and the Goodwill shops that proudly carry 1500 copies of The Matrix.
I know I'll be digging through those Goodwill stacks at some point. I've already checked the library, and while I did see three Nasties and Dario Argento's Profondo Rosso, I didn't see the need to add duplicates to my personal collection.
It's finding the rarer ones that's tough. And expensive.
Video Nasties are not all expensive...but some of the rarer ones, like Frozen Scream, The Slayer and The Werewolf And The Yeti are, simply because they are so hard to find. Indeed, there are a handful (the three previously mentioned are in that elite group) that were released once on video in the early 1980s and have never been reissued in any form. Frozen Scream and The Slayer were (as far as I have been able to determine) released in the US only on "double feature" videocassettes with other low-budget movies, and with the price tag for one of those tapes at $49.99 in 1983, it's no wonder there aren't many around. That price has not dropped much, if at all, in the interim.
The one that really freaks me out is Expose, the only British film on the list. See, while I think it may have been released in the US for one pressing nearly thirty years ago, that version was edited to get an R-rating and is therefore unacceptable for my purposes. It's rumored that a Region 1 DVD is on the way, but other than a listing on Amazon.com for an as-yet unreleased pressing I have no hard information. If push comes to shove, I'll gear up with a PAL set and a Region 2 player, send off to England, and hope for the best.
Will I be able to finish this?
Yes...but there's no way I will shell out $200 for The Werewolf And The Yeti. It's ridiculous...but then again, this has become an obsession, and if I can't find something at a reasonable price, I will crack and find a way to shell out big bucks to complete my mission. I WILL do this. I have to. Because if I don't, who the hell will?
But the news is not all bad.
Point: While modern technology has wiped out a lot of mom n' pops, DVD also led to uncut, widescreen editions of classic exploitation that were never released on VHS, and that has increased the number of easy-to-find Nasties.
Point: Many of the Nasties are not too hard to find for just a few dollars online (and several are still in print). The best deal I found has been an American VHS of I Miss You, Hugs And Kisses (under its' US title Left For Dead) for $0.01. Like the title of the film, that's not a typo. One cent plus shipping. Fuck yes. That's the kind of thing we like...but on the downside, it's on VHS, probably not widescreen, and I have no idea if it has been edited or not. What the fuck is an Elke Sommer movie doing on the list anyway?
So I will continue to wake up every morning thinking about how to acquire them all. Like I said, Obsession. I cannot stop thinking about this. And I'm happy about that. Someone has to remember this stuff, and I want that to be my job. Because my name's Justin. JustinCase.
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