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Video Nasty #9

Death Trap

1976

HE'S OUT THERE AND HE'S GOT MURDER ON HIS MIND!

YOU CHECK IN ALIVE...BUT CHECK OUT DEAD!

Original American Release Title: Eaten Alive (In an October 2000 interview with The Onion A.V. Club, Tobe Hooper states that the original title was its' UK Video Nasty title, Death Trap.)

NTSC Running Time: 90:46

Directed by Tobe Hooper

Written by Alvin L. Fast and Mardi Rustam.  Kim Henkel (Hooper's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre co-writer) is credited with "screen adaptation".

Produced by Mardi Rustam

Starring: Neville Brand, Mel Ferrer, Carolyn Jones, Marilyn Burns, William Finley, Stuart Whitman, Kyle Richards, Roberta Collins, Robert Englund

Body Count: 5 and a small dog.

Availability: On Region 1 DVD in one and two-disc editions from Dark Sky Films, also available from Elite Entertainment.

BBFC Status

Why it's a Nasty: Gore, sex and children's exposure to violence..

What was cut: 25 seconds of an attempted anal rape, a woman being beaten while her child watches and a brutal scythe-through-the-neck murder were removed for the cinema when first released in 1978 with an X certificate, and again for the first post-Nasty video release in 1992 with an 18 certificate.

Current BBFC status: The uncut version was awarded an 18 certificate on November 30, 2000.

UK Availability: Region 2 DVD from Vipco and another from Video International as Eaten Alive.

Death Trap was seized, but escaped prosecution.

"Name's Buck.  I'm rarin' to fuck."

If you haven't seen this film and the above line, the first spoken in Death Trap, sounds familiar to you, it's because it was stolen by Quentin Tarantino for Kill Bill.  (I have a bit of distaste for Tarantino, his humongous ego, and his cinematic thievery.  At least he admits that he's a thief.)  In Death Trap, Buck (Robert Englund) is a good-old-boy who loves drinkin' and whorin'.  The prostitute he's assignated with, Clara (Roberta Collins), is new to the business and not cut out for it.  When Buck tells her that she's gonna give him the "back of a Volkswagen" treatment he paid for, her screams bring Miss Hattie (Carolyn "Morticia Addams" Jones) who gives Buck two girls for the price of one and throws Clara out on her ass.  The brothel's housemaid takes pity on Clara and gives her ten bucks, telling her to get herself a room for the night at the motel down the road, the Starlight Motel.

Oops.

The owner/operator of the Starlight is Judd (Neville Brand), who is completely off his fucking nut and has no way of hiding it.  Before Clara can even get her bag in a room, he's pegged her as one of Miss Hattie's girls, gropes her, throws her down the stairs, repeatedly hacks at her with a three-pronged garden hoe and feeds her to the large gator that lives in the bayou just outside the front door (Judd insists it's a crocodile imported from Africa, but his shell-shocked rantings paint a picture of a man who knows nothing of reality).

So begins the film.  There's no story here.  People show up, get terrorized, and some of them get eaten by a gator.  That's it.  If you want strong characterization, deep meaning, subtle scares, or coherency, you've come to the wrong place.  If you want a twisted, overblown exploitation film filled with great actors, check in and stay awhile - just don't feed the gator.

There may be more star-power in Death Trap than in any other Nasty: Carolyn Jones and Stuart Whitman were both Academy Award nominees, Brand and Mel Ferrer accomplished TV and film actors with long, and distinguished careers (Ferrer also starred in Umberto Lenzi's cannibal film Mangianti Vivi!, also known as Eaten Alive, giving him two films with the same title within five years).  Portraying a family of lodgers are a trio of horror/exploitation actors who all had important roles in seminal films: William Finley as the dad was The Phantom Of The Paradise for Brian DePalma two years earlier, right around the same time that mom Marilyn Burns was being terrorized by Leatherface Sawyer in Hooper's breakthrough The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.  Their daughter was portrayed by Kyle Richards, who two years later appeared as Lindsey in John Carpenter's Halloween (and is currently on TV as herself as one of The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills).  With such a superb cast, it's almost a shame that they weren't given more to work with.  Rumors of Hooper leaving the shoot abound, with both the Cinematographer Robert Caramico and Carolyn Jones supposed to have shot the remainder.  I've been able to uncover no ironclad evidence of this, and may, like the rumors of Hooper's troubles on the set of Poltergeist, be nothing more than smoke and bluster.

The lighting is garish and if any of the sets were actually outdoors, I would be surprised, as the entire affair looks like a stage production.  The mechanical gator is wisely kept in the shadows and is not as large a part of the proceedings as the promotional materials would lead you to believe.

The real antagonist, and the reason to watch the film, is Neville Brand.  He doesn't just chew the scenery, he sicks it up and chows down again.  His mumbling, vicious performance is a far cry from Norman Bates.  (In fact, where Bates was modeled after mild-mannered momma's boy Ed Gein, Judd takes his inspiration from hotel owner, serial killer and gator enthusiast Joe Ball, who is said to have murdered over 20 women in the 1930s and fed them to his alligators.)  Judd has no "mask of sanity".  He doesn't even seem to have a lens in the right side of his spectacles.  He rants and raves the entire time and doesn't hesitate to chase everyone around with a scythe.  Brand is great fun to watch as he freaks out on everyone and he does a great job.

The presence of Marilyn Burns (who spends a large chunk of the film bound and gagged on a bed, trying to break free) makes you wonder if she's a glutton for punishment working with Hooper again after the nightmare Texas Chain Saw shoot.  William Finley also turns in a loony performance as an unhappy husband who mugs and freaks out at his wife, with no motive ever given.  No motives are given for anyone's actions, save Mel Ferrer, who is there looking for his daughter, the unfortunate Clara.

The tone is bleak, the action either depressing or disturbing, and the hotel itself would send even the tiredest traveler back onto the road.  I'd seen Death Trap before and I must say that I was not happy with it the first time.  Screening it again, I liked it much more, mainly because I wasn't expecting something on par with Texas Chain Saw or Poltergeist and was able to appreciate Death Trap for what it is: a sleazy horror film with a few gory deaths, a few topless girls, a talented but under-utilized cast and a wonky, uneasy atmosphere.  (Hardcore Insert Alert: There are also rumors that a Japanese print of the film adds shots to Englund's scenes showing Buck's large, uncircumcised wang, which were unfortunately not present on my DVD.  Darn.)

I will be staying right the hell out of Southeast Texas, thank you.  Safer that way.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

Hollywood Satire: Video Nasty Style!

Video Nasty #8

Revenge Of The Bogey Man

1983

HE'S BACK

MIRROR, MIRROR, ON THE WALL...WHO'S THE DEADEST OF THEM ALL?

Original American Title: Boogeyman 2

NTSC Running time: 79:57 (plus or minus a few seconds due to the VHS counter)

Directed by Bruce Starr (some sources cite Ulli Lommel as an uncredited director.)

Written by Suzanna Love, Ulli Lommel and Bruce Starr

Produced by Ulli Lommel

Starring: Suzanna Love, Ulli Lommel, Shannah Hall, Shoto von Douglas

Body Count: 15: 6 in footage from The Boogeyman, 9 in Boogeyman 2 proper.

Availability: Original version is VHS only and out of print.  My copy is a budget release from Gemstone Entertainment, the kind of thing you'd get for five bucks at a K-Mart (it doesn't even have an FBI warning!), and I have seen reference to a release from VCII (who also released Mardi Gras Massacre).  A "Redux" version entitled Ulli Lommel's Boogeyman 2 Director's Cut omits a lot of the new footage and is an entirely different film.  It is available on Region 1 DVD from Image Entertainment.

BBFC Status

Why it's a Nasty: Scenes from the first film were included, making it a Nasty by default.

What was cut: Nothing.  The original Video Nasty version (titled Revenge Of The Bogey Man) was never given a BBFC certificate.

Current BBFC status: The re-edited version, titled Bogeyman 2 - Redux was awarded an 18 certificate on September 22, 2003.

Availability: Redux version available on Region 2 DVD from Hollywood DVD Ltd.

Revenge Of The Bogey Man was seized, but escaped prosecution.

I think I liked this one better than the first.  Has anyone ever said that before?

Every review I've read of Boogeyman 2 categorizes it as a waste of time, advising viewers to watch the first and forget about it.  And I, for the life of me, cannot figure out why.

Yes, it's loaded with flashbacks to the first film.  Yes, it's low-budget...or cheap, depending on your point of view.  Yes, the setup is totally cheeseball and the action ridiculous.

But I think that was the point.

Suzanna Love returns to the role of Lacey, now terrorized and traumatized...and what better way to relax than take a vacation to sunny Hollywood!  Her friend Bonnie Lombard (Shannah Hall) and her husband, film director Mickey Lombard (Ulli Lommel), are happy to have her, and listen to her story (enter the flashbacks!) with growing awe and disbelief.  Bonnie thinks it's fantastic and wants to write a screenplay of Lacey's story.  Mickey, who is in the middle of begrudgingly adding some nudity to his art film at the behest of slimy producer Bernie (Bob Rosenfarb), is hesitant and the only character in the entire film who:
A) believes Lacey's story, and
B) doesn't want to exploit her.
(Lommel and Love were married in real life at the time, and their playing the only likable characters is one of the film's many in-jokes.)
Bonnie throws a party filled with sleazy Hollywood bottom-feeders, anxious to get Lacey's story made into a film.  But Lacey doesn't want a film made of her story...and now the last piece of the cursed mirror (that she carries with her everywhere for some unfathomable reason) has gone missing!  The Boogeyman is at large in Tinseltown!

The deaths come fast and furious, with the first half acting as a "highlight reel" from the first film (showing all but two of the deaths, notably skipping the deaths of Lacey's aunt and uncle that happened in the barn...even after the idiots at the party exhort Lacey, "Tell us about the barn!"), and the second half quickly dispatching nine Hollywood douchebags.  My favorite was the handlebar-mustachioed greaseball who is done away with by a disembodied electric toothbrush!

Boogeyman 2 is a satire of the film business, produced, written by and starring Ulli Lommel, who was inundated by requests for a sequel after the success of The Boogeyman...so he made a film where amalgams of everyone who wanted the sequel are killed by The Boogeyman!  The humor is bitter and scathing, and I thought it was great fun.  At just under 80 minutes, it drags only because of the flashbacks, which up the body count, but don't do much else if you've seen the original.  The deaths are filmed in extreme closeup and shrouded in darkness, which shows the limited budget...but it's got style...style that seems to be there just to thumb its' nose at those who would have given the film a bigger budget: "Don't need your money, and we don't need you!"

With its' high body count (the most of any Nasty so far), tongue-in-cheek humor and short running time, Boogeyman 2 is a fun ride, definitely better than many reviewers would lead you to believe.  Like most Nasties, you can check your brain at the door and have a gore-soaked laugh or two, especially if you've ever met phony Hollywoodites whose shallow fakery makes you want to vomit.  I can't stress enough: Don't expect high-quality filmmaking or effects, this is just for fun.  And fun it is (as long as you, like me, love trash cinema).

So if you break a mirror, make sure you pick up all the pieces.  And whatever you do, don't let them out of your sight.  You never know who might embed a piece of portable evil in their white-gloved hand.  An easy precaution to take.  I'll keep warning you about what not to do, because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

Intermission: Identity Crisis

You may have noticed that I'm not who I say I am.  My name's not JustinCase.  It's not even Justin.  Let's make things a little squarer between us, shall we?

I've been looking at pages from other writers.  I feel alternately sick and sad.

There's the numerous "this is a diary of the life of my family" pages that seem to all be written by the same plain Christian woman who cares about nothing but what cute thing her kid did that week and has a short-haired, suit-wearing, empty-eyed tool of a husband present in some of the pictures (of which there are about a thousand).  This woman talks about teaching her kids to pray, the artwork the kids drew, and how she just LOVES her BFFs!

Shoot me in the fucking head, please, I don't want to know these people exist.

There's also the "look at me!" pages: Aspiring writers showing off their vocabularies and acting pretentious because they want everyone else to think they are as awesome as they know themselves to be.

Am I one of these people?  God, I hope not...but I might be.

All the characteristics are there: The dorky, "ain't I cool" pseudonym; The high-concept framing device; The desire to have my words read by others; The fear that I'm just not good enough to be taken notice of.

Maybe the difference (if there is one) lies in this: I am well aware that writing this blog will probably bring zero recognition (it being geared towards a very small percentage of the population that might care about the subject of the Video Nasties), and that what I write will not make me famous, change the world, or get me a job writing for some cool magazine or something.

And being aware of these things makes me a little sad.  Because the simple act of writing something and then sticking it on the internet where damn near anyone can see it reeks of attention-seeking, and the act of hiding my true identity behind a nom de plume is a paradoxical barrier: "Read what I have to say, but I won't tell you who I am."  That way if you like it, I can take all the credit.  And if you hate it, you don't hate me, you hate a fictional creation, a cutout of myself that will take all the blame and feel nothing.

I despise pretension, and I will keep it to a minimum.  I won't say there won't be any: in this situation, it's unavoidable.  But I want to be honest.  I want you to know where I stand.  I don't want to put myself on a pedestal, looking down on my readers, trying to show how cool I am.

I want to throw my arm around your shoulder, talk of film, and try to feel a little less alone in my love of all these weird movies.  I want to know that you're out there.  I want to feel that coolness about myself without shoving it in people's faces and making them feel bad.  I think you're cool for reading, and I hope you think the same of me for writing...but I won't assume you feel that way, and I won't feel it for you.

About the name: I end every entry the same way because that's something I say in real life.  When someone asks why I took some precaution, I will always respond with "Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase."  It makes me smile.  That's all.  Maybe I'll share my real name on here someday when I feel a little more secure about who I am.  For now, I like the security of being able to say all this stuff without having to think about the fact that it's me saying it.  Like just about everyone who's ever used a pseudonym, being JustinCase gives me a little bit more confidence than being the person I am everywhere else.  I told you I'd be honest.

So that's where we stand: I will do my best to bring you the meat of the matter, the hard facts about classic exploitation and horror, and to do so without pretense of thinking I'm amazing or better than you.  All you've gotta do is read if you want to.  Easy, huh?  Thanks.  I appreciate it.  Truly, and from the bottom of my being.  And I hope you don't mind if I keep using the name.  I like my signoff, and I'll continue saying goodbye the way I have this whole time: My name's Justin.  JustinCase.

They Thought It Was Over...It's Not!

Because once is not enough, here's a trailer for Revenge of the Bogey Man:



Flashback, flashback, flashback...to, like, two nights ago!  The concept of overusing footage from the first film for a cheapjack sequel is not unique (rumor has it that the makers of Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 were originally told to just re-edit the first and call it a sequel), this case is interesting because Ulli Lommel didn't want to make a sequel.  After pressure from all sides (and an offer from major studio Paramount, which was turned down), Lommel decided to make an independent sequel and satire Hollywood in the process...at least, that was the idea.  Did he succeed?  Only one way to find out.

Boogeyman 2 is up next, in its' original Nasty, Bruce Starr-directed version on good old VHS.  Have you held on to your VCR?  Don't you know you could very well need it?  I do.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

The Invisible Monster!

Video Nasty #7

The Bogey Man

1980

THE MOST TERRIFYING NIGHTMARE OF CHILDHOOD IS ABOUT TO RETURN!



American Title: The Boogeyman

NTSC Running Time: 81:41

Directed, Written and Produced by Ulli Lommel (While the credits explicitly state this, buried in the end credits is this: Screenplay by Ulli Lommel, Suzanna Love and David Herschel.  Megalomania strikes again.)

Starring: Suzanna Love, Ron James, John Carradine, Nicholas Love

Body Count: 8, and one implied.  (But how she could have died from getting hit in the face with a medicine cabinet, I don't know.)

Availability: On Region 1 DVD from Sony on a double-feature with Return Of The Boogeyman.  Anchor Bay also offers a double-feature (with The Devonsville Terror).  I believe both are out of print.  The Sony release is a bit easier to find, and quite affordable.

BBFC Status

Why it's a Nasty: Bondage and that Blood/Breasts combo that the BBFC finds so offensive.

What was cut: 44 seconds of a woman bound and a dead woman in the bathtub with blood on her chest.

Current BBFC Status: The uncut version was awarded an 18 certificate on July 20, 2000.  An even longer version (under the title Ulli Lommel's Boogeyman) was approved on May 7, 2004.

Availability: Region 2 extended cut from Hollywood DVD Ltd.
The Bogey Man was seized, but escaped prosecution.

The first thing you get from this flick is a lesson in parenting: Don't tell your kids to play outside in the middle of the night, tie them to beds, or leave large knives within easy reach of toddlers.  But I didn't have to tell you all that, right?

1960: Drunken, kinky, neglectful mom has her creepy boyfriend tie her son, Willy,  to a bed when he won't listen.  His sister, Lacey, goes to the kitchen and grabs a huge knife to free him with.  Once he's up and around, he does what any abused six-year-old would do: STAB! STAB! STAB!!!  Willy knifes the boyfriend, while Lacey watches in a wall-mounted mirror.

1980: Lacey (Suzanna Love) and Willy (Nicholas Love, real-life brother of Suzanna) live with their aunt and uncle on a small farm.  Willy hasn't spoken in twenty years.  Lacey is married and has a small child, Kevin, and everything is pretty normal...until a letter from mom arrives.  Now, Lacey is having nightmares and can't stop thinking about the murder she saw as a child.  Her asshole cop husband (Canadian comedian Ron James in his film debut) and her dopey shrink (legendary John Carradine) tell her she has to go back to the house where the murder took place.  It's a lovely house, actually, and there's nothing wrong with it.  The girl who answers the door is there with her bro and sis, and the visiting couple are free to look around because, lucky for them, the house is for sale.  Lacey and hubby poke around and everything's fine...until Lacey spots the mirror...and her mom's boyfriend is in it!  Rising from the bed and coming for her!  She smashes the mirror with a chair.  Her idiot husband picks up all the pieces and the frame and takes it back home!  Where he reassembles it!

But when a mirror breaks, all it has seen is freed.  And the long-ago dead boyfriend is now the invisible BOOGEYMAN, and he'll kill anyone who gets anywhere near a broken piece of the mirror!!!

Written down, it sounds pretty stupid...and it is, I guess, but it's also so much fun that you don't really notice just how dumb it is until you think about it afterwards.  The idea of the Boogeyman is never fleshed out as well as it should be, so calling the film The Boogeyman is a neat gimmick that gets horror fans thinking of Halloween (the cheesy Carpenter-inspired score does that, too), but the ideas here are pretty original and it would have been neat to see what could have been done with the broken-mirror premise by a crew that had a bit more ambition...or money...or talent.

Not that there's no talent in evidence: John Carradine has over 300 screen credits (including John Ford's 1939 oat-opera classic Stagecoach) and no shortage of ability...although his lines leave a lot to be desired.  The sequences involving the mirror range from dumb to frightening, and I got a couple of decent scares from the film.  Oh, and that is future Sassy and Jane magazine editor/founder Jane Pratt as the girl who cuts her top open and stabs herself in the neck, the Boogeyman's first real victim.  Personally, I think this film is her finest accomplishment...but what do I know?

All in all, a fun way to kill 81 minutes, a few chills, a few thrills, some good and not-so-good acting and effects, with Carradine and Suzanna Love bringing the best performances; Carradine because of his experience, Love because she has the most to work with, and you can tell she was at least having fun.  I feel ready to tackle the sequel...and it'll probably be a lot like watching The Boogeyman all over again!

So don't break any mirrors: you never know what they may have seen.  I sure won't.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

A Shattered Mirror...

Coming soon:



Ulli Lommel's The Bogeyman (that's spelled The Boogeyman here in the States) is not alone on the Nasties list: its' sequel Revenge of the Bogeyman (that's spelled Boogeyman 2 over here) soon joined as well, due to a large portion of it being flashbacks to the first film.  Think Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 for a similar case of "lifted" footage.  It sure keeps the budget low...but Lommel is an enterprising fellow, and he didn't stop at one movie: his Boogeyman 2 Director's Cut is comprised almost entirely of footage from the first film, the rest of it is Lommel in an interrogation room talking about the "case", and the title is totally inaccurate considering that Boogeyman 2 was directed by Bruce Starr, not Lommel.  Compounding the offense, the Boogeyman DVD also contains The Return of the Boogeyman on the flipside, and it too is filled with footage from the first film!  Somebody needs to call "Shenanigans" on these guys, before they re-release the entire first film all over again as Boogeyman 4.

But at least we'll have some fun, right?  So good to jump back into the fray!  I'll be here in the 80s if you need me.  I'm always here for whatever you might need.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

The Latest Acquisitions.

I'm back!  I've been pretty tied up with work, school and family, but the Nasties (and this blog) are never far from my mind.  Neither are you, you awesome readers.

"Postmaster General loves me.  You know how that one goes." ~ Digger, "Security Envelopes"

In the mail this week: Three Nasties so far, plus one legendary title that has to be seen to be believed.

I received a factory-sealed VHS cassette of the Bruce Starr/Ulli Lommell sequel Boogeyman 2 (known to the DPP as Revenge Of The Bogeyman) on Tuesday.  Boogeyman 2 found its' way onto the list mainly because of the large amount of footage from the first film, and while a DVD is available, it is a completely different version, re-edited with a much larger amount of footage from the first film.  Make no mistake: Ulli Lommel's Boogeyman 2 Director's Cut does NOT count as a Video Nasty.  I am still awaiting the arrival of the first film from a different source, but I'd like to give big thanks to Leslie at MovieJukeboxReplay for kicking ass above and beyond the call.

Yesterday brought more: Aldo Lado's 1975 L'ultimo Treno Della Notte (on DVD from Blue Underground under the title Night Train Murders, and on the Nasty list as Late Night Trains), Guilio Berruti's 1978 nunsploitation film Suor Omicidi (on DVD under its' Nasty title Killer Nun, also from Blue Underground), and a film that, if it had been available in 1980s Britain would have given Mary Whitehouse a coronary, Joe D'Amato's 1980 groundbreaker Le Notti Erotiche Dei Morti Viventi (from Shriek Show as Erotic Nights of the Living Dead).

Late Night Trains is essentially a Last House on the Left remake: Two girls are menaced, raped and killed by vagabond lunatics who meet their end at the hands of one of the girl's parents.  One of the selling points for me is the appearance of Macha Meril, who portrayed psychic Helga Ulmann in Dario Argento's Profondo Rosso.  A score by Ennio Morricone doesn't hurt, either.

Killer Nun stars Anita Ekberg (probably best known as the lead in Fellini's La Dolce Vita) as Sister Gertrude, a morphine-addicted nun who is losing her mind.  Other notables in the cast are Alida Valli (Suspiria) and Joe Dallesandro, who we will see again when we view another Nasty, Andy Warhol's Frankenstein.

Which brings me to Joe D'Amato.  Born in 1936 in Rome, Aristide Massaccesi directed at least 193 films.  I say at least because no one seems to be sure just how many aliases he used.  He directed only one film under his real name, 1973's La Morte Ha Sorisso All'assassino, aka Death Smiles On A Murderer.  Other noms de film include David Hills, Alexandre Borsky, and Robert Yip, but he will always best be known by his most used alias, Joe D'Amato.  He has two Nasties to his name...but almost all of his films would qualify.  The two on the list are Antropophagus, aka Anthropophagus The Beast (and a censored American cut under the title The Grim Reaper), and Rosso Sangue (aka Monster Hunter and Horrible, its' Nasty title is Absurd, a moniker also adopted by a Black Metal band from Germany who gained infamy as teenagers when they commited a murder), a loose sequel to Antropophagus.  The only thing that really makes a link between the two is the presence of Luigi Montefiore (often billed as George Eastman) as an unstoppable monster, but when you're dealing with Joe D'Amato, that's enough.  While he is most famous for his horror films (the two Nasties and a well-respected taxidermy-horror film titled Buio Omega [literally The Final Darkness, available from Shriek Show as Beyond The Darkness and in a censored cut from Thriller Video as Buried Alive]), he made all kinds of films, but the majority were...I'll be polite and say "erotic" movies.  His late career was filled almost entirely with hardcore porn, but his most famous are from earlier in his career: the Black Emanuelle series starring Laura Gemser, an Indonesian actress who retains a cult following to this day (she branched out into costume design later on, notably for Lucio Fulci's final film Porte Di Silenzio and the supposed "best worst movie" of all time, Claudio Fragasso's Troll 2).  The Black Emanuelle films were an Italian take on the famous French sexpot that made her a reporter in more volatile situations than the usual fare: tracking down the makers of snuff films, adventuring in search of a cannibal tribe, and a two-film stint in prison.  D'Amato didn't instigate the series, nor did he finish it, but his twisted melding of violence and sex made his films the most well-regarded.

Santo Domingo, 1979:
D'Amato, and his stock company (which mostly means Gemser and Montefiore, D'Amato started as a cinematographer and continued to act as such for his own films) arrive in the tropics to make some movies.  Several of them.  They share actors, and sometimes whole scenes transposed from one to another.  Scripts?  Minimal.  Scenery?  Abundant.  Twisted sensibility that unknowingly creates legendary (though not great) cinema?  Oh yeah, because this tropical vacation produced the first (and perhaps only) serious attempts at combining horror and pornography in the forms of Erotic Nights Of The Living Dead and Porno Holocaust.

I screened Erotic Nights soon after it arrived.  I'd like to recommend it...but therein lies the problem.  Am I glad that I have seen it?  The answer is an undeniable yes.  Its' sheer weirdness of form is unmistakably D'Amato (his "touch" is competent but almost without style), and the first couple of reels consist of about five or six sex scenes interspersed with four or five zombie attacks, making good on the title...until the "story" begins and then it is a lovely travelogue of a tropical beach and nothing much else until it perks up slightly in the final reel with more zombies.  That's about it.  So I can't truly recommend it as a good film to anyone...but I won't tell you not to watch it, either, because just being able to say that I have witnessed it is, to me, a badge of honor, a symbol of my commitment to terrible, sleazy, unwatchable movies, and if I can ever find a copy I can afford, I will not hesitate to purchase a copy of Porno Holocaust, which itself has some similarities to Antropophagus, again featuring Montefiore as a hulking beast, only this time he has a much more..."personal" way to dispatch female victims.

If he were still alive, I'd vote Joe D'Amato for pope.

The next Nasty?  Yes, I know, it's been awhile, and I'm excited to dive back in.  I've got 19 now, and I'm weighing my options: The Burning, Frozen Scream, The Werewolf And The Yeti, I Miss You Hugs And Kisses, Tenebrae, so much more.  I'll keep you posted.  In the meantime, remember:

"Quite upset, angry, just plain annoyed - No recourse except for celluloid." ~ Type O Negative, "How Could She?"

So keep your VCR plugged in, and kill your Tivo: the government is watching you through it.  I give this advice because I care.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

Yellow Mysteries: The Giallo.

Monday night, I stepped back into the present day and screened the latest film from the great Dario Argento, which is titled Giallo.  If the film had been given any other title, it may have been more successful with his fans.  But no other title is truly appropriate.

Allow me to explain.

Giallo is the Italian word for "yellow".  In the mid-20th century, a Italian publishing house began reprinting American mystery and crime novels (by the likes of Ellery Queen, Ed McBain, Agatha Christie, and others) in Italian, and the inexpensive and quite popular paperbacks were graced with distinctive yellow covers.  Other publishing houses followed suit, retaining the yellow covers.  So it began that giallo began to mean more than just the third color of the rainbow.

It is generally thought that the first giallo film is Mario Bava's La Ragazza Che Sapeva Troppo (translated as The Girl Who Knew Too Much) from 1963, first released in America in a cut version as The Evil Eye, now available on DVD uncut, under its' original title.  Starring Leticia Roman and the great John Saxon, The Girl Who Knew Too Much established the basics of the genre: a protagonist who saw something, but isn't sure what; unnerving camerawork; and the slow buildup until the murderer is revealed in the final reel.  Bava was a master filmmaker, easily the most respected Italian horror director, even to mainstream critics, and the film is still as much a gripping, suspenseful ride as it was fifty years ago.

I've been doing some research (there are so many gialli and the term is so loose that it would take years to see them all) and the consensus seems to be that the two films that really defined the genre are Mario Bava's 1965 Sei Donne pour L'assassino (literally Six Women For The Murderer, but more commonly referred to as Blood and Black Lace), and Dario Argento's directorial debut L'uccello Dalle Piume di Cristallo (The Bird with the Crystal Plumage).  I am a little ashamed to say that I have not seen either one of these films...but the fact that I get to enjoy them for the first time as soon as I can get my hands on them is very exciting.  Bava's film was one of the first "body count" films, and (along with his later work Twitch Of The Death Nerve) set the stage for every North American slasher film ever made.

(Right now, you very well might be shouting something about Hitchcock's Frenzy, and you almost have a point, but Frenzy was made at a time when Italian theatres were flooded with gialli and Hitchcock's film is more of a British giallo than an inspiration point.)

Argento's 1970 debut was what really opened the floodgates, with his intense colors and audacious camerawork.  Bird was a huge (1.65 billion lira in 1970) hit, and as is usual in Italian cinema, the knockoffs were not far behind.  Lucio Fulci, Umberto Lenzi, Sergio Martino, Pupi Avati, Massimo Dallamano, and a host of others offered their own takes on the style, and the giallo genre was truly born.

Describing just what makes a giallo is like describing autism: there's a spectrum.  But the general guidelines are as follows:
A mixture of horror, mystery and thriller, often (but not always) with a splash of sex and nudity.
The pursuit of the killer, and discovering the killer's identity, are what drives the story.
The killer often wears black gloves and carries a shiny metal weapon.  (Guns are rarely seen in a killer's hands in a giallo.)
Intense, strident music.
Elaborate setpieces.
Gory, sensational murder sequences.
The solution to the mystery is almost always a shock ending...and sometimes a cheat.
And, most importantly, the twisted not-there logic of Italian cinema that allows for the atmosphere to be more important than the plot.

And the rules are also often broken.

See what I mean about it being a hard genre to pin down?

In relation to the Video Nasties...there's only two on the list: Dario Argento's Tenebre (originally released to America in a butchered cut titled Unsane), and Mario Bava's Blood Bath (aka Twitch of the Death Nerve).  See, there they are again.

Getting back to the latest Argento film, Giallo: fans of the genre were upset.  The killer's identity is revealed halfway through the picture.  Gore is kept to a minimum.  The style was restrained.  If watched back to back with a picture from earlier in Argento's career, such as Tenebre or Profondo Rosso (arguably the finest giallo ever filmed), Giallo would fall flat...but there's more there.  The style is not the point of this film, the subtext is.  The subtle inclusion of bright yellow objects in almost every shot, references to Argento's earlier films in the setpieces, and the dynamic in personalities between cop and killer are the focus here, not the giallo-style murder mystery.  The more I think about it, the more impressed I am, and I am becoming convinced that a second viewing will be required.  I think that Argento's fanbase has become so jaded and demanding (a dangerous combination) that what he tried to do was lost in what the viewers think he could or should have done.

Not fair, horror fans.  Not fair.

So there you go.  I hope to talk more about the giallo later on, it's a fascinating topic and there are so many films that can lay claim to the title, but this is enough for now.  In case I get quizzed, it's time for more research.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

The Third Pig.

I love happenstance.

Happenstance is what causes films that would have been forgotten almost immediately to be immortalized.  Happenstance is life at its' best, the minor confluences that cause everything to mean something because of the simple juxtaposition of everything else.

Jesus Franco was excited to make Bloody Moon because he was misled into believing he would be able to work with Pink Floyd.  That film was immortalized because it had been released on video in the UK without a certificate from the BBFC.  The furore over uncertified videos was in part touched off by the distributors of Cannibal Holocaust writing to "moral decency" advocate Mary Whitehouse, a conservative activist who was head of the National Viewers' and Listeners' Association, complaining about their own film with the purpose of gaining free publicity.  Mary Whitehouse is the woman who first referred to these films as "Video Nasties".  And in 1977, five or six years before the whole thing started, Mary Whitehouse was herself immortalized on vinyl by British progressive rock band Pink Floyd.

I love happenstance.

The album in question is Animals.  The song is "Pigs (Three Different Ones)".  The third verse is entirely about Whitehouse, including mention of her name.  Described in the lyrics as a "house proud town mouse" who is "trying to keep our feelings off the street" with her "tight lips and cold feet".  She's referred to as a "charade" and the tone of the piece is purely derisive.

Obviously, Pink Floyd was on the side of artistic expression.  Being artists themselves, is anyone really surprised?

I just love how things go full circle.  Die Sage des Todes was a minor German-financed B-movie from a Spanish director that would have been ignored and forgotten had Go Video (who had nothing to do with Bloody Moon, remember, they were promoting Cannibal Holocaust) not had the brilliant idea to piss off the self-appointed moral watchdog of the UK.  Congratulations, Mary Whitehouse, Commander of the Order of the British Empire.  Because you had such a problem with it, people who would never have cared are still watching the movies you tried so hard to keep out of our hands.  Great job.  All your moral crusading sure got the job done, didn't it?

Freedom of expression wins again.  It always will.  But you never know where the next threat will come from, so I'll keep fighting for artistic freedom.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

The Saw Of Death!

Video Nasty #6

Bloody Moon

1981

DON'T PANIC...IT ONLY HAPPENS ONCE IN A...BLOODY MOON!

Original German Title: Die Sage Des Todes (literal translation: The Saw Of Death)

NTSC Running time: 84:55

Directed by Jesus Franco

Written by Erich Tomek (as Rayo Casablanca)

Produced by Wolf C. Hartwig

Starring: Olivia Pascal, Christoph Moosbrugger, Alexander Waechter, Nadja Gerganoff

Body Count: 9, plus a snake

Availability: Region 1 DVD available from Severin Films

BBFC Status

Why it's a Nasty: Excessive gore!  The circular saw murder, snake decapitation and knife piercing a breast are all prime candidates for raising the ire of the British censors.

What was cut: The BBFC offers no details (the last cut print was released in 1993), but my guess is the scenes listed above.

Current BBFC status: The uncut version of Bloody Moon was awarded an 18 certificate on November 6, 2008.  A Region 2 DVD is available, also from Severin.

Bloody Moon was successfully prosecuted under the Obscene Publications Act, making it one of the DPP39.

When facially-scarred Miguel murders a girl at a party after a failed rape attempt, he gets put into an institution for five years.  Upon his release, he is eager to resume his incestuous relationship with his sister, Manuela.  But Manuela (who has a penchant for staring at the moon with her shirt off) rebuffs him, and soon a series of murders grips the campus of the language school Manuela runs on their invalid aunt's sprawling Spanish estate.  At the center of the story is Angela (Olivia Pascal), a student who had caught Miguel's attention on a train.  Angela seems to be the only person who knows about the murders, and spends much of the film in a hysterical state, screaming at the top of her voice for no particular reason.

Bloody Moon is a fun movie.  I'm a little ashamed to admit that this is the first Franco film I have ever seen, but if this is any indication of his style, you can bet I'll be watching more.  Gory murders, vibrant colors, topless women, a twisted sense of style, a vague plot and some really poor special effects all fall in line with what makes an otherwise ordinary video into a Video Nasty.  Turn off your brain, curl up with your girl, and watch the nightmare unfold.

In an interview with the now aged, but still spitting dynamite Franco, he details the making of the film: a Production Manager/Screenwriter who bristled at the idea of anyone tampering with his terrible script, German producers who tried to get Franco to film in Germany when the film takes place in Spain...and Franco himself is Spanish!  The thing that struck me is that while Franco was satisfied with the effects (which even I will say are just awful), it was the music that bothered him the most.  One of the ways the producers enticed him to make the film was telling him that they had secured Pink Floyd to do the score!  Of course, it was bullshit, and the faux-Gilmour guitar wanking that runs throughout is slightly annoying, but after watching Mardi Gras Massacre, I barely noticed it.

But enough of the downside, let's talk about the good stuff!  The centerpiece of the film is the murder of Inge, a naive girl who wants more than anything to be a sex goddess, but is in reality inexperienced and awkward.  (One scene has her bouncing on a bed and ripping fabric while moaning in an attempt to make her friends outside believe she's with a man.)  She goes to a deserted stonemill with a masked man she believes is an acquaintance of hers for what she thinks is kinky sex.  It's not until she is tied to a slab of granite and moving slowly towards the biggest freaking circular saw you've ever seen that poor Inge realizes she will be dying a virgin.  She is nearly saved by a young boy who kills power to the saw...but the boy then kicks the killer in the shin and runs for his life, whereupon the killer restarts the saw, Inge is decapitated in a geyser of blood, and the killer then runs the boy down with his Mercedes.  The mannequin who stands in for Jasmin Losensky (who plays Inge) makes sure that no one except a first-time horror viewer would do anything but laugh at the scene, so the punch of the killer running down her pre-adolescent would-be saviour dampens the chuckles and provides some grit.  Also providing grit, the hedgeclipper beheading of a live snake.  The effects for this little scene are great...but that's because there are no effects.  That shit was real!

I enjoyed this little film, and the fact that Mr. Franco is (along with Lucio Fulci) one of the two directors with three Video Nasties to his name makes me excited for his other movies.

So what have we learned?  Pink Floyd doesn't waste time with German B-movies; beware of men who won't take their mask off; and a pierced nipple sometimes means a knife in the back!  Beware of the Bloody Moon.  You never know who's staring at it at the same time you are.  So when I'm stargazing, I'll make sure to watch my back.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

Buddy, I Am Gonna Shoot You In The Face!

I recently saw an article on the Nasties that opened by saying that if you are from North America you probably haven't heard of the Video Nasties and that it's probably a good thing, too.

What kind of crap is that?  What is it about some horror film critics, who seem to relish hating for its' own sake?  What the hell do they want, Citizen Kane?  Go write about mainstream cinema, and leave the B-movies to me and Joe Bob Briggs.  You know, folks who actually appreciate the genre.

In my mailbox yesterday, two packages.  The first, an acquisition of my own, a VHS cassette of Murray Markowitz's 1978 drama I Miss You Hugs And Kisses under its' American title, Left For Dead, one of two Canadian entries on the list and also one of the few based on a true story (the other based-on-true-events title is Michael Findlay's The Slaughter, based on the Manson family, which became a Nasty when it was re-released with a tacked-on ending by an unscrupulous distributor and retitled Snuff).  Long out of print, Left For Dead is relatively easy to obtain, but modern day technophiles are out of luck, because good old VHS is your only option.  Take that, BluRay disc!  I still have no use for you!

The other new arrival is the also out of print and MUCH harder to obtain The Werewolf And The Yeti.  And since this came from El Presidente, I am surprised at its' conventional arrival: a plain white envelope with a bootleg DVD and a simple note.  It read:

"Mr. Case,
While I wish that I could continue to aid your cause, my own cause requires me to flee for my life.  The insurgents are nearing the palace and I have no choice but to go into hiding.  Once my secret police have quelled the rebellion, I will be able to resume my operations.  Rest assured that this will not be my last communication.
El Presidente"

The postmark was the highlands of Scotland...but anyone who's seen Braveheart knows that Scotland has no President, and the package smelled of desert sage, cinnamon rolls, and Willie Nelson.  Whatever, at least there weren't any love letters from war criminals or cross-dressing bodybuilders who disappear in a Polish urban legend.  That shit was getting to me.

The DVD itself was actually very well done.  As far as I know, La Maldicion de la Bestia has had no official release outside of videocassette, and you can easily tell from the DVD label that this was a "self-produced" affair, but what I love is the high quality reproduction of the original Video Nasty artwork, perfectly scaled to fit the dimensions of the keep case.  Whoever did this obviously cares about classic genre films, and my hat goes off in their general direction...whichever direction that may be.

And it's official, the next Nasty is Jesus Franco's Die Sage Des Todes, better known as Bloody Moon:



Prolific to say the least, Spain's Jesus Franco has directed over 190 films since the 1950s and is still working today at the age of 80.  He is well known, by some as a hack, by others as a cult hero.  His three titles on the Nasty list are Bloody Moon, the still-banned Women Behind Bars, and Sexo Canibal aka Devil Hunter.  This is gonna be fun.

Until we meet again, I'll keep a sharp eye on the skies.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

Death And Disco!

Video Nasty #5

Mardi Gras Massacre

1978

EVERYONE IS CELEBRATING.  NO ONE HEARS THE SCREAMS OF THE VICTIMS FOR THE SACRIFICE.

NTSC Running Time: 91:42

Directed, Written, and Produced by Jack Weis

Starring: Curt Dawson, Gwen Arment and William Metzo

Body Count: 5

Naked People: 3

Availability: Out-of-print NTSC VHS from VCII

BBFC Status

Why it's a Nasty: Breasts and blood in the same shot.

What was cut: Not a thing.

Current UK Status: Mardi Gras Massacre remains banned in the UK, as it has never been submitted for classification.

Mardi Gras Massacre was successfully prosecuted under the Obscene Publications Act, making it one of the DPP39.

Okay, this is not a great movie.

But it has some charming facets.

A mysterious man known only as "John" (William Metzo) wanders the bars of New Orleans, looking for "something special".  He asks every pimp and prostitute he meets where he can find girls who are evil.  Literally.  He talks about evil so much that you know the tongue is in the cheek.  When he lures a girl to his apartment, he ties her to a table, slices her hand, her foot, then removes her heart...or, as he refers to it: "The part you use for your evil!" in a sacrifice to an Aztec deity.  See?  Charming in its' ridiculousness.

He dumps a body and the cops get involved.  Curt Dawson stars as the cop on the case.  He enlists the help of a hooker named Sherry (Gwen Arment) to help track down John.  They fall for each other, romance ensues, leading to a falling out and Sherry falling into the clutches of the villain.  Sound familiar?

This had to have been inspired by Blood Feast (see Video Nasty #1).  Mardi Gras Massacre is one of those movies that needs to be viewed from a certain angle to be enjoyed.  Feature Film?  Snooze.  1970s Public Access Cop Show?  Fun!  Everything about this screams 70s, from the ridiculous clothes, gratuitous nudity...and even more gratuitous dance sequences!  Scenes in strip clubs and discos feature extended shots of ladies dancing for no good reason but to pad the running time, and one of the victims gets into the act as well, combining the gratuitous nudity and gratuitous dancing by taking off all of her clothes and dancing her way to the slaughter.  The fact that the pounding disco soundtrack rarely lets up and fights the dialogue through most of the movie is galling.  The music ranges from the annoying to the awful to the occasionally good...for 1978 disco tracks, anyways.

And there are some facets to this movie that will make you smile: the longhaired Al Yankovic lookalike who pimps a girl to the killer while speaking entirely in rhyme.  The mugging-gone-wrong sequence where a couple tries to attack John and all of them are silent the entire time.  And, my favorite, the footage of Mardi Gras near the end.  Apparently Mardi Gras in the late seventies was less like an extended wet t-shirt contest and more like a party you'd want to attend...that is, if the footage here is accurate.

All in all, Mardi Gras Massacre is amateurish and gratuitous, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.  Writer/Producer/Director/Cinematographer Jack Weis certainly tried, and if his goal was to make a police procedural with a lot of topless women, he succeeded...although he definitely put more effort into the nudity than the cops, and none of the nudity is erotic, it's just there.  And all of the murders are shot exactly the same, but they didn't skimp on the effects budget and the heart-removal sequences are (relatively) tough to watch: the camera holds in closeup on a ceremonial knife plunging into a naked female torso (this is where the BBFC said "That's not cricket, old boy!") and hands removing the heart, all done without a cut, a ballsy technique for a low-budgeter.  If you're one of the lucky few souls with a rental outlet or library that still stocks VHS and is open to all kinds of films (the only way one of those places is still open anyway), check it out and MST3K it with a box of wine and a few tasteless Glenn Quagmire-types.  Good times, good times.

I'm not quite sure what's next...but since the only Nasty in my possession that does not belong to me is the aforementioned Jesus Franco slasher Die Sage des Todes, so that's a prime candidate.  But I don't want to say one thing and do another.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

A Nazi Mash Note.

Yesterday's package compounds my consternation.

The return address was a kissmark in bright pink lipstick with a swastika between the lips.

Inside the package: SS Hell Pack Volume II, a Shriek Show compendium of three Nazisploitation flicks, two of them Nasties (the third is Le Lunghe Notti Della Gestapo aka Red Nights Of The Gestapo).  The Nasties in question are Luigi Batzella's La Bestia In Calore, under the title SS Hell Camp, but better known to Nasty lovers as The Beast In Heat from 1977.  The other, Cesare Canevari's L'ultima Orgia del III Reich, better known as The Gestapo's Last Orgy and recently re-released under the provocative title Caligula Reincarnated As Hitler, also from 1977.  The former details a genetic experiment involving a rapacious mutant, the latter a sadistic "love" affair between a Nazi officer and a prisoner.  I have yet to see a Nazisploitation movie, and I'm a little scared.

I mean, I was born in 1979, not a member of the generation whose parents fought in WWII, so the subersive appeal is a little lost on me, watching this stuff is not a direct rebellion against the generation that preceded mine, as I'm sure these films were when first released.  But let's face it, what's more fucked up than watching Nazis take sexual dominion over their prisoners?  Ummmm.......Nothing!  That's about as perverse as it gets.

Except when you get a middle-school missive from a genuine ex-Nazi.

The package also had a lavender-colored, perfume-scented note in a flowing female script that bore the unintended shakiness of the very elderly.  I don't know much German, but I can see the words "Schadenfraude", "Lustmord" and "Ilse Koch", and it's signed "Aufseherin Herta Bothe", with more lipstick kisses and a smattering of Xs and Os.

Aufseherin Herta Bothe was an SS officer at Stutthoff.

I just got a mash note from a Nazi concentration camp warden.

And a photo of the now 89-year-old "Sadist of Stutthoff" in her SS uniform, licking her lips and winking.

I'm not sure I've got the words...but I've definitely got the shivers.  This has El Presidente's fingerprints all over it.  How and why he is doing this, I don't know.  But my personal collection of Video Nasties has now swelled to 14, so I'm happy about that, plus today's delivery from Netflix has brought a copy of Jesus Franco's 1981 slasher Die Sage des Todes, better known in English as Bloody Moon.  I'm now so inundated with classic exploitation that my head is spinning.

Instinct tells me that I should burn Frau Bothe's communiques...but prudence tells me I should frame them.  After all, there aren't many Nazis left, right?  I guess I should hold onto all of it.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

The Creepy Minions Of El Presidente.

I received another gift from El Presidente today.  While no one appears to have died this time, the circumstances surrounding its' arrival are troubling.

I still have not screened Mardi Gras Massacre.  It's sitting on my bookshelf, gaining dread.  At first, I had written off the odd package with its' ominous manifest as some kind of joke, or a trick to make me wary.  But I've found myself scared of the tape, nonetheless.

Today's delivery was another videocassette, an old ex-rental copy of Frozen Scream, backing up a lead feature called Executioner II.  As far as I have been able to determine, this is the only available version of Frozen Scream in the USA.  (Executioner II is somewhat of a misnomer, as there was no Part I, much like Bill Cosby's ill-fated Leonard Part 6.)  Both films feature the same lead actress, Renee Harmon, who also produced.  In an article for a special Horror issue of SFX magazine, a chap like myself (only British) watched all the Nasties and rated them in a countdown.  Frozen Scream came in at #73 out of 74 (this reviewer included the extraneous films Xtro and Shogun Assassin which were seized during the Nasty panic but never officially targeted for prosecution by the DPP.  The film at #74 was Alain Deruelle's Terreur Cannibale, if you're wondering.), meaning that the writer in question (I don't remember his name, sorry) felt it was utterly worthless.  I have seen few films I consider to be completely without merit (Sideways, Paul Haggis' Crash, Blow, the simply-awful Open Water), and as a fan of low- and no-budget filmmaking, I am confident there will be something good about it, but that remains to be seen, as I know next to nothing.  The more obscure the Nasty, the harder it is to learn anything about them.  I'm excited, though.  I feel like those two freaks brought me a lost treasure.

Which brings me to the delivery.  The doorbell rang and I opened up to find two burly, mustachioed men smoking cigars.  While this is out of the ordinary, it was their attire that set off my internal alarms.  One wore a powder-blue prom dress and tiara.  His makeup looked to have been applied by a deranged Mary Kay rep.  The other wore a curly blonde wig, lederhosen, and clutched an oversized lollipop in the hand not holding the cigar.

"Yoo heff peckidge," said the transvestite, holding out the brown-paper wrapped parcel.

"The Leader thanks you," said the boyman, flicking cigar ash on my shoes and biting a large piece from his lolly.

I took the delivery with trembling fingers and asked if I needed to sign.

"No signed.  Yoo take.  We go," said the man in drag.  He and his partner turned around, clasped hands, and skipped away, singing a traveling song in a Teutonic dialect.

I watched them go, five hundred pounds of human singing and skipping to the corner.  Once there, a black Volga limousine careened into view, screeched to a halt, and disappeared with the strange men as cargo.

Shivering, I went back inside and engaged the deadbolt.  The package, and the videotape it contained, were thankfully free of bloodstains.  The tape was in a clear rental case.  The case was cracked, one spindle holder removed but included.  I checked for a return address, and there was indeed writing there, but it appeared to be written in Enochian with green paint, rendering my questions as to the parcel's origins unanswerable.

So just who is this El Presidente?  I don't know.  He contacted me via email offering his help in acquiring rarer titles.  Happy to have an ally, I didn't stop to consider what motives he may have...but I'm thinking about them now, that's for sure.  And what the hell is he President of, anyway?  Am I unknowingly aiding a coup?  Providing information for a twisted cult?  Unwittingly fueling a Tony Montana-style coke machine?  Or something more sinister that my little mind couldn't possible fathom the true implications of...?

Whatever is really happening, I extend my thanks to El Presidente for his assistance in tracking down these rare finds...and please, I beg you, keep civilian casualties to a minimum.  I can't be responsible for that.  I'm a film geek, not a revolutionary.  But maybe he's one of the good guys, so I'll keep in contact with him.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

Don't Open The Door!

Video Nasty #4

MANY PEOPLE VISIT...NO ONE EVER LEAVES.

Madhouse

1981

JULIA THINKS SHE LIVES ALONE...SHE DOESN'T!

Actual Title: There Was A Little Girl
Alternate Titles: And When She Was Bad, Flesh And The Beast, Scared To Death

NTSC Running Time: 93:16

Directed by Ovidio G. Assonitis

Written by Ovidio G. Assonitis, Stephen Blakely, Roberto Gandus, Peter Shepherd

Produced by Ovidio G. Assonitis and Peter Shepherd

Starring: Trish Everly, Dennis Robertson, Michael MacRae, Morgan Hart, Edith Ivey and Allison Biggers

Body Count: 5, plus a cat, a dog, a child (not shown), and the shock opener that has no relation to the rest of the film.

Availability: Uncut Region 1 DVD from Dark Sky Films.

BBFC Status

Why it's a Nasty: Animal stuff.  No one is really sure which scene caused the most trouble, as all of the violence is rather sadistic and gruesome...but the power drill in the dog's head is probably the biggest offender.

What was cut: Well...nothing.  After being seized and prosecuted, Madhouse was not released until...

Current BBFC Status: The uncut version of Madhouse was awarded an 18 certificate on April 27, 2004.  Available on Region 2 DVD from Film 2000.
Madhouse was successfully prosecuted under the Obscene Publications Act, making it one of the DPP39.

Ahhh, the scourge of alternate titles.

One of the things about the Video Nasties is not just how many alternate titles have piled up for some of these films, but which title is the "true" title.  In this case, it is not hard to figure out which title is correct: The case and disc of the film said plainly Madhouse, but the film itself carried the title card There Was A Little Girl, and after viewing the film I cannot possibly call it anything else.

Since this is the first time that we've needed to deal with a film with many titles, now is the time to explain how I will handle it.  The courier-fonted bold-italic-underline at the top of the article is the Video Nasty title.  After that, I will refer to it by whichever title I like best, which is usually the original, filmmaker-intended title...but not always.  We'll talk about this more as we go through the list.

The film opens with a slow zoom in on a pair of twin girls in a black room under the opening credits.  When we finally get close enough to see anything, we can see that one is being rocked in a chair by the girl standing next to her...who then pulls out a large rock and repeatedly smashes the other in the face.  It's a great shock opener, and while it can be related to the events we are about to witness, it has nothing to do with the rest of the film.  We are watching a story about twin girls, but not these twin girls.

We get a title card telling us that it is November 6th, and Julia's birthday is 5 days away.  Then we meet Julia, a teacher at a school for deaf children.  She goes to visit her sister Mary in the hospital (it's never clear whether it is a mental or physical hospital, but it doesn't matter because she's sick and crazy) for the first time in seven years.  Big mistake, Julia.  See, Mary spent their childhood torturing Julia, especially on their birthday, and Mary also has a pet Rottweiler that kills whoever it meets up with.

Before long, Mary escapes, her dog goes on a murderous rampage, and a mysterious station wagon is shadowing Julia.  Most of the murders take place inside of her home, an apartment building in the middle of being renovated that has exactly two tenants: Julia, and her new-age freako landlady Amantha, who delivers one of the best lines of the film: "You know, dear, sometimes those of us with a sensitive temperament are often tried by the brutality of this world.", which could serve as this film's thesis.  When the violence comes, it is definitely brutal and drawn out, in one instance leading a repeatedly terrorized character to engage in an act of overkill that is refreshing to see in a "slasher" movie, where those who are attacked often stab once and run, guaranteeing that they will be facing their merely wounded attacker again.  Seeing a character who has been repeatedly put upon unload a tidal wave of rage on the tormentor is a "FUCK YEAH!" moment that horror movies (at least of this period) don't take the opportunity to include very often.

The acting in this picture is first-rate.  The performance of Trish Everly as Julia was really a standout and I was hoping to find other movies that featured her.  Of which there are none.  I can find no other information about this woman except that she starred in There Was A Little Girl.  Not even a guest shot on Gimme A Break or St. Elsewhere.  It's a shame, because she would have been one hell of a scream queen, as demonstrated by the final reel of this film.  Where are you, Trish?  We'd love to see more of you!  Also of note in the cast are Michael MacRae as Julia's rockin'-the-70s-moustache doctor boyfriend, Edith Ivey as spacey Amantha, Allison Biggers as deformed-and-loony Mary, and veteran TV actor Dennis Robertson as Father James, the twin's uncle.  Most of the cast is no longer working in film or TV, sadly, since they are a talented bunch, but life is more than acting.  Morgan Hart, who plays Julia's friend and co-worker Helen, lives one county away from me with her husband, Don Most, and their children.  I wonder if she'd do an interview...

Speaking of interviews, the Dark Sky DVD has an interview with Ovidio G. Assonitis as a bonus feature, and I'm pretty sure all the stories are true.  He states plainly that he is only interested in producing, directed when he felt the people he had hired weren't doing a good job, and that budget is king.  I personally disagree with almost everything he said (and he damn near admits ghost-directing Piranha II), but I can't deny that the man has skill.  There were several impressively shot sequences in There Was A Little Girl, especially a "final confrontation" scene between the sisters that effectively ratchets up the tension.  He says in his interview that he was disappointed with the special effects, especially the dog-drilling scene, but I think he's being a bit harsh.  It's a movie, jackass, it's gonna look a little fake unless you do it for real!  Quit bitching.  I had my hands over my mouth through the whole sequence, going "DAMN!" and cringing at the sheer harshness of it.

I definitely enjoyed There Was A Little Girl (a much more ominous title than Madhouse, don't you agree?) and I would recommend it if you like suspenseful psychological horror with a bit of gore and some surprises.  One thing I love about insane characters is that they don't have to behave like anyone would in real life, and that is the case here, so don't be a stickler for reality and just go with it.  It's creepy, well-acted, brutal, and a lot of fun.  I'd also like to mention that at one point, Julia says to Helen "Don't open the door!"  There are four Video Nasties with titles that begin with "Don't" and it would be great to see a re-release of There Was A Little Girl under the title Don't Open The Door, just to make it more confusing!

If anyone knows whatever happened to Trish Everly, please let me know, and I will feature it in a later column.  I hope she's at least on the stage or something, her acting was better than what you normally see in a low-budget horror film.  I'll stay on the lookout, too.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

A Name You Can Trust.

Being a fan of exploitation cinema, you learn pretty quickly that there are two kinds of distributors: companies that care about quality, and companies that want to turn a quick buck.  The latter are much more numerous and the names of their companies tend not to stick.  The former are fewer in number, and their products more expensive, but for good reason.  These are the companies whose name denotes quality, uncut transfers of exploitation cinema.  I'd like to share some quick notes about the best of the best:

Something Weird Video has been dedicated for years to providing the best in older underground cinema.  In fact, all four of the Nasties made in the 1960s (Blood Feast, Love Camp 7, Night Of The Bloody Apes, Blood Rites aka The Ghastly Ones) are available from Something Weird on VHS and DVD.  They also have the rights to Axe! aka Lisa, Lisa.  You can check out their website here.

Grindhouse Releasing is run by film editor Bob Murawski and actor/director Sage Stallone.  Their catalogue is smaller than some, but the quality is second to none.  Exhaustive restoration, otherwise unavailable bonus features, and exquisite attention to detail are their hallmarks.  Their Nasty output includes Cannibal Ferox and Cannibal Holocaust, and we have Sage and Bob to thank for bringing The Beyond to US shores in its' original, uncut, widescreen glory.  For that alone, they deserve our praise.  Throw in over-the-top shockers like Pieces and Un Gatto Nel Cervello, and you've got a reason to rejoice.  For a full listing of titles offered by Grindhouse, plus a listing of their upcoming cinema screenings, check out their website.

Media Blaster's Shriek Show imprint collects an interesting sampling of Eurohorror, notably releasing Joe D'Amato's Nasty Antropophagus and his taxidermy love story Buio Omega, the Lucio Fulci/Bruno Mattei oddity Zombi 3, Lamberto Bava's Foto De Gioia, and (the most censored Nasty in terms of frames cut) Ruggero Deodato's The House On The Edge Of The Park.  More on them can be found here.

Finally, no discussion of where to get the best in exploitation is valid if Blue Underground isn't mentioned.  Founded by William Lustig (Maniac, Uncle Sam, the Maniac Cop trilogy) Blue Underground is the Criterion Collection of grindhouse cinema.  Nasties released by BU include (but aren't limited to) The House By The Cemetery, Zombie Creeping Flesh aka Hell Of The Living Dead, Zombie Flesh Eaters aka Zombi 2, Late Night Trains and more.  Again, high-quality, uncut, never any doubt that what you are getting is the best available version.  Check out their catalogue (with full trailers for every film) by following this link.

There are other companies with quality product, of course, I don't want to malign anyone, but these are the Big Four.  (I know I mentioned Criterion earlier, they have released one Video Nasty: Flesh For Frankenstein.) I write this little ol' series of articles on the Video Nasties not just for my own enjoyment and edification, but to encourage others to enjoy them and other forgotten cinema treasures as well, and y'all can't do that without the proper knowledge and tools, such as who to trust when it comes to procuring uncensored prints of exploitation cinema.  You're welcome.

[As a side note to the free adspace I just gave those companies, you may not know that Google (which maintains the 'blogspot' domains) encourages its' bloggers to "monetize", meaning giving advertising space to whomever they choose on my page in exchange for payment of some kind.  I don't do it because it's tacky, cheap, shallow, greedy and disrespectful.  I don't want my readers suckered into clicking on some scam that I know nothing about just so I can grab a few extra pennies.  There is no integrity in that kind of behavior, and you deserve more respect than that.  You've taken the time to read my labor of love, and I appreciate that very much.  Why should you be bombarded with hucksters, schemers and scam artists for that?  The only correct answer is that you shouldn't.  Period.  However, if anyone wants to offer me writing work, that's another kettle of fish, and I will take any and all offers for writing (paid or pro bono) very seriously.  Justin is stepping down from his soapbox now.]

Up next is Madhouse, so keep it dialed down and I'll keep a lookout.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

Coming Up Next...

I love it when I find Nasties in the mailbox!

That familiar red envelope contains a copy of one I know very little about, Ovidio G. Assonitis' 1981 thriller There Was A Little Girl, aka Madhouse, which is both its' Nasty title and the title given on the recent DVD release.  Assonitis' biggest claim to fame may be writing and producing James Cameron's directorial debut Piranha II: The Spawning.  The story goes that Assonitis was dissatisfied with Cameron's progress after a week and took over the directing duties, allowing Cameron to film, but denying him access to dailies and editing.  Upset about his loss of control, Cameron allegedly broke into the editing room over a weekend and assembled his own cut, but was caught (Apparently his version was released to home video).  Mr. Assonitis' second biggest claim to fame is a well-respected film entitled Beyond The Door, and third would have to be landing a film on the Nasties list.  Here's a trailer for Madhouse:



The other thing I received today was wrapped in brown paper with no return address. It was covered in odd handwriting and suspicious, rust-colored stains.  It seems El Presidente has people who know people, because when I tore into the foul-smelling and hastily wrapped package, I found a worn VHS copy of Mardi Gras Massacre cut down to fit a grey clamshell case from its original big-box packaging.  Along with it was a piece of paper documenting the slew of towns it had traveled through, including a weeklong sojourn in Honduras that apparently ended the lives of two couriers.  Below that notation was scrawled what may have been a plea for help on the manifest, but I don't understand Garifuna and water damage rendered the rest of the information illegible.  I can only hope whoever wrote it got home safely.

A loose remake of Blood Feast, Mardi Gras Massacre was directed, produced, written and shot by Jack Weis in 1978, who may have gotten the idea when he scouted locations for the Southern-fried James Bond outing Live And Let Die five years earlier.  This one has never been rereleased in the UK after falling afoul of the OPA.  Here's an anomaly for an unrated film - a television ad for Mardi Gras Massacre:



I'm excited to screen these, and I'm hoping that my quest for all 72 won't kill any more Central American messengers.  But I gotta do what I gotta do.  Someone needs to document it all if it's needed, and I'm the guy for the job.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

A Mounting Obsession.

I might be in trouble.

See, when I started doing this I had been talking about doing it for over a year.  I researched and dug and read and researched some more.  I compiled a spreadsheet listing the most pertinent facts about each Nasty: UK titles, Actual titles (some of these films have over fifteen titles bestowed by carnival barker distributors), Directors, Country of origin, Running time (as best I could figure), What company released it on video or DVD, anything else that seemed relevant.  The scarcity of information about some of these films is one of my reasons for undertaking the project: If I can watch them all and find out all I can, then compile that information in one place, the research of others might be made easier, not to mention that I would have created the databank I spent so much time searching for and had some fun along the way.  There are books on the subject, of course, but since I live in the United States where interest in the subject is minimal the books need to be imported, leading to pricetags that I as a working stiff and family man cannot readily afford.

But books aren't what I really need right now.  I need Nasties.  Netflix has about forty.  I've got ten and there's a bit of overlap there (I might have eleven if El Presidente's connections are good).  There's twenty-five of these things that I've got to procure in some other manner.  I've been screwed by modern technology, and it is not within my power to fix this.

There aren't any mom n' pop video shops anymore.  First Blockbuster forced the smallest ones out of business, then Netflix finished off all the shops that were keeping themselves afloat with porno, and now they've pretty much KO'd Blockbuster as well.

Which is okay with me.  But it still doesn't fix the lack of video shops.  The video liquidator that used to be around went belly-up five years ago when someone moved an "adult novelty" shop into the same tiny strip mall.  Again, porn was keeping the guy afloat.  He closed his doors, and now the only options are the local library with 90 copies of Top Gun at a quarter apiece, and the Goodwill shops that proudly carry 1500 copies of The Matrix.

I know I'll be digging through those Goodwill stacks at some point.  I've already checked the library, and while I did see three Nasties and Dario Argento's Profondo Rosso, I didn't see the need to add duplicates to my personal collection.

It's finding the rarer ones that's tough.  And expensive.

Video Nasties are not all expensive...but some of the rarer ones, like Frozen Scream, The Slayer and The Werewolf And The Yeti are, simply because they are so hard to find.  Indeed, there are a handful (the three previously mentioned are in that elite group) that were released once on video in the early 1980s and have never been reissued in any form.  Frozen Scream and The Slayer were (as far as I have been able to determine) released in the US only on "double feature" videocassettes with other low-budget movies, and with the price tag for one of those tapes at $49.99 in 1983, it's no wonder there aren't many around.  That price has not dropped much, if at all, in the interim.

The one that really freaks me out is Expose, the only British film on the list.  See, while I think it may have been released in the US for one pressing nearly thirty years ago, that version was edited to get an R-rating and is therefore unacceptable for my purposes.  It's rumored that a Region 1 DVD is on the way, but other than a listing on Amazon.com for an as-yet unreleased pressing I have no hard information.  If push comes to shove, I'll gear up with a PAL set and a Region 2 player, send off to England, and hope for the best.

Will I be able to finish this?

Yes...but there's no way I will shell out $200 for The Werewolf And The Yeti.  It's ridiculous...but then again, this has become an obsession, and if I can't find something at a reasonable price, I will crack and find a way to shell out big bucks to complete my mission.  I WILL do this.  I have to.  Because if I don't, who the hell will?

But the news is not all bad.

Point: While modern technology has wiped out a lot of mom n' pops, DVD also led to uncut, widescreen editions of classic exploitation that were never released on VHS, and that has increased the number of easy-to-find Nasties.

Point: Many of the Nasties are not too hard to find for just a few dollars online (and several are still in print).  The best deal I found has been an American VHS of I Miss You, Hugs And Kisses (under its' US title Left For Dead) for $0.01.  Like the title of the film, that's not a typo.  One cent plus shipping.  Fuck yes.  That's the kind of thing we like...but on the downside, it's on VHS, probably not widescreen, and I have no idea if it has been edited or not.  What the fuck is an Elke Sommer movie doing on the list anyway?

So I will continue to wake up every morning thinking about how to acquire them all.  Like I said, Obsession.  I cannot stop thinking about this.  And I'm happy about that.  Someone has to remember this stuff, and I want that to be my job.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

There's Something In The Basement...

Video Nasty #3

The House By The Cemetery

1981

READ THE FINE PRINT.  YOU MAY HAVE JUST MORTGAGED YOUR LIFE.

Original Italian Title: Quella Villa Accanto al Cimitero

NTSC Running Time: 86:22

Directed by Lucio Fulci

Story by Elisa Livia Briganti (Mrs. Dardano Sacchetti)

Screenplay by Dardano Sacchetti, Giorgio Marruzzo and Lucio Fulci

Produced by Fabrizio DeAngelis

Starring: Catriona MacColl, Paolo Malco, Giovanni Frezza, Ania Pieroni, Dagmar Lassander, Daniela Doria

Body Count: 6ish, plus a bat and a mannequin (Trust me, the mannequin counts.)

Availability: Uncut DVD available from Blue Underground,

BBFC Status

Why it's a Nasty: In your face GORE as only Lucio Fulci could bring it.
What was cut: Over a minute was cut when first submitted for cinema classification in December, 1981.  4 minutes 11 seconds were cut for the first formal video submission in March, 1988.  For these releases, information on what exactly was shorn was unavailable, but it's safe to say that the murders of the realtor and babysitter were the primary targets.  On April 3, 2001, 33 seconds were cut from the aforementioned sequences, and the film was awarded an 18 certificate.
Current BBFC Status: The uncut version was finally awarded an 18 certificate on February 11, 2009.  Available on DVD from Arrow Film Distributors, Ltd.
The House By The Cemetery was successfully prosecuted under the Obscene Publications Act, making it one of the DPP39.

Cobwebbed halls, forgotten tombs, a mysterious little girl...and an ageless monster picking off all who enter.  In 1981, Lucio Fulci released the third of his Gothic horror films set in the then-present-day United States.  The first, Paura Nella Citta Dei Morti Viventi was set in Dunwich, Massachusetts, stomping ground of H.P. Lovecraft (although it was filmed in Savannah, GA).  The second, E Tu Vivrai Nel Terrore...L'Aldila made stunning use of its' Louisiana locations.  L'Aldila (better known as The Beyond) also made the Nasties list.  It is the best of the Fulci Gothics, and some would argue that it is Fulci's most accomplished work.  The last was Quella Villa Accanto al Cimitero, taking place and filmed in Massachusetts.  The exteriors of the House of the title is the Ellis Estate House in Scituate, MA and it is frockin' creepy, friends, but the interior was filmed in good old Rome, Italy.  The three films all share a twisted sense of dreamlogic that makes for an ethereal viewing experience.  No person, place or thing behaves as it should, throwing you off completely, putting you in the perfect position to be shocked by the violence that receives pride of place.

The violence is why we're here, of course.  The House By The Cemetery is more than your average Nasty, it's a piece of art.  However, the two scariest moments are due not to the violence, but the editing.  The violence is the message.

"Violence is Italian art!" ~ Lucio Fulci.

The film opens with shots of the house at night.  Inside we find Daniela Doria, the perpetual victim, buttoning her shirt and calling out to her boyfriend.  She finds him beaten to death and hanging behind a door.  Her scream is cut short when a hand attached to who-knows-what plunges a butcher knife into her occipital plate, the tip of the knife exiting out her mouth.  And then she's dragged away.

Roll the opening credits.

In a nutshell: Family (Father, Mother, Son) moves into the house for six months while the father (Paolo Malco as Norman Boyle) carries on the research into suicide left behind by his colleague...who committed suicide after murdering his mistress.  The wife (Catriona MacColl as Lucy Boyle) has anxiety issues.  The son (Giovanni Frezza as Bob Boyle) has made friends with an odd little girl named Mae.  A babysitter (Ania Pieroni as Anne) appears from nowhere (she says the realtor sent her, but there's never any proof of that), people in town seem to think that Norman has been there before, and a name keeps coming up: Freudstein.

I hate spoilers, so I don't want to say any more...but I don't know how much there is to spoil, as the type of "answers" one normally expects from a film do not apply here.  The House By The Cemetery is not interested in reality, it doesn't care what you want, and it doesn't want you to feel safe at any time.  Example: the unseen monster that lurks in the house does away with a supporting character in spectacular fashion forty-five minutes in, stabbing her in the chest twice with a fireplace poker, then going for the throat in a blood-drenched effect that really delivers.  However, the real shock comes after the butchery.  Anne is cleaning the large spill of gore and brains.  A freshly awoken Lucy comes in and speaks with Anne as if it were a normal morning.  Anne's only response is "I made coffee" as she wrings out a bloody rag.  Lucy goes to Norman and mentions how odd Anne is.  The viewer, meanwhile, is screaming at the screen, wondering why no one is asking about the foul stench of death.

The film is chock full of Fulci trademarks: children in peril, gut-busting violence, and extreme closeups of the actor's eyes, particularly those of Malco and Pieroni, both of whom have arresting eyes to begin with.  In House their eyes are almost seperate performers, called upon to fill the screen and express the inner feelings and thoughts of the characters with no help from any of the performer's other features, and it works!  Not many filmmakers would have the stones to even attempt such a cinematic feat; Lucio Fulci did it in every film.  No wonder I'm so fond of his work.

Needless to say, I recommend The House By The Cemetery to anyone who appreciates weird cinema with a healthy dollop of blood and guts.  If you're the type who demands rationality, realism or resolution in your movies, you'll probably be disappointed and you should go rent a Spielberg picture instead.  Me?  I'll be right here waiting for that copy of Mardi Gras Massacre that El Presidente just shipped out.  Can't go anywhere, cuz what if the mail comes while I'm gone?  That wouldn't be in line with how I roll.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.