Monday, September 6, 2010

Due To Circumstances Beyond Our Control...

Something died in my house.  A creature of unknown species burrowed its' way into the depths of our home and expired, leaving behind an unholy stench.  There is no way to retrieve the rotting corpse without destroying the house completely, so I am not at home.  I tell you all this by way of explaining why you are not reading about the horrific and unnecessary spectacle that is Faces Of Death right this very minute.  It seems that I cannot see the face of Death when confronted with the stench of Death.  My deepest apologies, and you will be returned to your regularly scheduled Nasties later this week.  Until then, I would like to recommend a quick trip down memory lane...

When was the last time you watched Halloween III: Season Of The Witch?  I'm dead serious.  This much maligned film is worth another look.  Yes, you can drive a truck through the plot holes...but the same is true of every other Halloween film, especially those sad attempts that came after III (We're talking original series here, Rob Zombie's films are a separate beast...and he knew enough to stop at two).  The first two films told the entire story of Michael Myers, period.  The only way to continue the series was with new stories, and Season Of The Witch (not to be confused with the George A. Romero film of the same title) delivered the shocks and grossouts that the Myers films did not.  Tom Atkins is an underrated actor, and his performance here is pitch-perfect as the everyman who discovers a twisted conspiracy to kill thousands of innocent children.  Also of note is Dan O'Herlihy, the mastermind who wants the kids dead, and the "Two more days 'til Halloween" jingle that runs throughout the picture.

I had been told repeatedly that I should not see Halloween III, so I made sure to see it as quickly as possible, sure that it had been unjustly panned and its' true merits overlooked.  As usual, I was right.  The film took me on a ride I enjoyed thoroughly, and the ambiguous, probably-a-downer ending brought a maniacal laugh to my lips.  Put down your own expectations, watch the film on its' own terms, and see the beginning of what should have been: a series of films telling different scary stories that all take place on Halloween.

For the record: Michael Myers died in Haddonfield Hospital on Halloween, October 31, 1978, both eyes shot out by Laurie Strode, consumed by the flames from a gas explosion triggered by Dr. Samuel Loomis.  Any films featuring Michael Myers that have a number higher than II after the title are utter bullshit and inferior to the first three films.  I should point out that I've seen 4-8 and enjoyed them all, even though they were fantasies and did not contain the words "John Carpenter" on the opening credits, a distinction that the first three can all lay claim to.  (Okay, theme song credits excluded.)

I'll shut up about this now, but I wanted to check in and let all three of you know that I'm not slacking, I'm temporarily closed due to a slight case of DEATH.  I should have been prepared for this, but even the best can't see the future.  But I'll make preparations for next time.  Cuz my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

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