Video Nasty #15
Blood Rites
1968
A GRUESOME ORGY OF HUMAN MUTILATION!
MAD CREATURES OF THE NIGHT EXISTING ONLY FOR SENSUAL SADISTIC MOMENTS OF HUMAN SLAUGHTER!
Actual title: The Ghastly Ones
NTSC Running time: 71:43
Directed, Written, Shot, Edited, Sound, Costumes & Set Design by Andy Milligan
Produced by Jerome-Fredric (quite possibly a pseudonym for Milligan)
Starring: Veronica Radburn, Maggie Rogers, Hal Borske, Anne Linden, Carol Vogel, Eileen Hayes
Body Count: 9 + a rabbit.
Availability: Region 1 DVD from Something Weird Video, paired with another Milligan film, Seeds
BBFC Status
Why it's a Nasty: Those BBFC favorites, gore and rape.
What was cut: No cuts made because...
Current UK Status: Blood Rites has never been submitted for cinema or video classification.
Blood Rites was successfully prosecuted under the Obscene Publications Act, making it one of the DPP39.
As you can probably tell from the trailer above, this movie sucks. It's poorly made, shoddily edited, woodenly acted and sounds like a pillow has been placed over the microphone. The fact that it's still a lot of fun is a welcome surprise.
We open with another of those shock openers that mean nothing: A man and woman in Victorian dress enjoy an afternoon in the countryside. They notice a strange house and sit for a moment. They are then set upon by a drooling idiot who hacks them to pieces.
Roll Credits.
Three sisters and their husbands are summoned to New York for the reading of their father's will...many years after his death. Apparently he was a bit of a weirdo. The couples must spend a weekend at his house "in sexual harmony", after which the bequests will be handed out. They arrive at the sprawling estate and meet Hattie, Martha and Colin, the servants. Colin is recognizable (barely) as the loony from the opening. He's still batshit and tears open a live rabbit with his teeth while hauling the luggage. The couples settle in, and then a hooded figure begins prowling and killing. Will our stuffy, upper crust heroes care enough about what's going on to even attempt to solve the mystery?
Nope. They don't bother. It's actually pretty funny.
The murders are gory, and the effects are so inept that the cheesiness actually makes them more disturbing than they would be otherwise. Andy Milligan made a lot of movies. What I've read about him paints a picture of a flamboyantly gay dressmaker and theater geek who hated all women due to harsh treatment from his domineering mother. It shows in this film: The women are almost all greedy and domineering. The one who isn't gets raped by her husband. Early on, Richard (Fib LaBlaque) has to borrow money so he and his wife can travel to New York. Upon his wife's insistence, he borrows from his brother Walter, a gay priest who desperately wants to resume a sexual relationship with his brother. Wow. I'd say you can't make that shit up, except Milligan did and it's so twisted that I can't do much except respect it. What can I say? I love bad, evil movies, and The Ghastly Ones certainly qualifies.
I don't have much else to say about this one, except that numerous sources list this film as running 81 minutes. I can't find a print at that time, and if you send me one, I'll watch it...but this was so crappy that I'm not sure that I care. No recommendation for this one unless you're someone who really loves bad filmmaking. But I can say this: at least it wasn't Faces Of Death. I'd sooner watch The Ghastly Ones five times in a row than submit to that shitstorm again.
So avoid crumbling estates on Staten Island, lest you meet a gibbering idiot who packs a hatchet. I'm staying FAR away. Because my name's Justin. JustinCase.
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