Woodslore Won't Save You...

Video Nasty #27

 

 

Don't Go In The Woods

1981

 

 





 

EVERYONE HAS NIGHTMARES ABOUT THE UGLIEST WAY TO DIE.

 



Alternate Titles: Although sometimes referred to as Don't Go In The Woods...Alone!, the final word and ellipsis appear to be nothing more than a semi-tagline mistaken for part of the title.  It was released in Australia as The Forest 2, although the films are unrelated.
Running time: 81:28 NTSC

Directed by James Bryan

Written by Garth Eliassen

Produced by James Bryan, Suzette & Roberto Gomez

Starring: Jack McClelland, Mary Gail Artz, James P. Hayden, Angie Brown, Ken Carter, David Barth, and Tom Drury

Music by H. Kingsley Thurber

Body Count: 16

Region 1 DVD from Code Red is out of print, but available if you're willing to pay for it.  (I should state that I have never even seen a copy of this release, the one in my collection is the 1986 Video Treasures VHS release.)

 

BBFC Status

 

Why it's a Nasty: Excessive and exaggerated sequences of gore.

What was cut: Nothing.  Don't Go In The Woods was never submitted to the BBFC before it was released to home media.

Current UK status: Don't Go In The Woods was passed uncut with a 15(!) certificate on February 7th, 2007.

Don't Go In The Woods was successfully prosecuted under the Obscene Publications Act, making it one of the DPP39.



 

So it's been a few years since I've received an ominous package from that benevolent videovore previously referred to in these pages as El Presidente.  I still haven't...but I recently got a package that made me think of his bloodstained Nasties of years hence.

The package was a bubble mailer (for those who don't ship, that's a brown manila envelope reinforced with bubblewrap), which told me right off that I wasn't dealing with a serious tapehead.  What I pulled out made me want to cry: the VHS slipcover had been stripped of its' top flap, then slit vertically down one corner, and roughly grafted onto an oversize black clamshell case with some kind of wide pseudo-Scotch tape with melting adhesive that had already stained the inside of the cardboard.

This tape's been torture murdered, I thought.

Fortunately, that wasn't actually the case.  The box may be a lost cause, but the tape plays like a dream.  It's in incredible shape for an '86 VHS, especially an EP release from a budget video house.  It's also the perfect format in which to enjoy this gem of a slasher, which is long on personality and short on story.

Somewhere in the Rockies, A girl runs through the woods from an unseen pursuer.  She falls in a creek bed, the water turning red as she screams.  A man is enjoying the scenery near the same small river.  He is hit in the face with something, has his arm chopped off (the blood spurting rapidly from the stump), and dies.  Something in these woods isn't keen on having visitors.

Peter (Jack McClelland), Ingrid (Mary Gail Artz) and Joanie (Angie Brown) listen to the camping advice of Craig (James P. Hayden), who comes off as a total knowitall windbag, as the four make their way to a cabin deep in the wilderness.  Peter isn't much for all this nature stuff, which gets him some chiding from the other three, especially Craig, who should take a look at himself and his ridiculous hat before he starts passing judgment.  Meanwhile, more people die in exceptionally gory fashion at the hands of the unseen maniac stalking these woods: a middle-aged photographer, his heavyset wife, and a young female landscape painter who is repeatedly knifed and gouts rich red blood all over her canvas, which she clutches to herself as she falls in slow motion.  She's left her young daughter bouncing in a sling hung from a tree...a sling we see empty after the painter has been dispatched.  What fate has befallen this innocent child?  Will our heroes survive the woods?

The slasher film as we know it today was entering its golden age in 1981, and James Bryan's Don't Go In The Woods is a superb example of how ingenuity, resourcefulness and courage can result in poorly made, but enjoyable, splatter movies.  The film stock was a batch of leftover ends purchased for $400.  The blood was barbecue sauce and red food coloring.  The murder victims were mostly crew members and friends of the director.  The score by H. Kingsley Thurber, which runs non-stop and is both goofy and annoying, was partially recycled from another Video Nasty, 1975's Frozen Scream, which Bryan had also worked on as a cameraman.  What little story there was is about the same as every forest-set slasher since Twitch Of The Death Nerve: teenagers go to the woods for some freedom, find bloody death and terror.  If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

The cast were mostly first-timers, and for most of them it was their only turn before the camera.  Popular Texas radio DJ Ken Carter is among the only-timers of Don't Go In The Woods, giving and amusing portrayal of a fat, lazy sheriff who doesn't necessarily believe that people keep disappearing in the woods around his little corner of the world.  Mary Gail Artz counts this as her only on-screen credit, but the same year handled casting duties for Halloween II at the beginning of a long, still-going career in film and TV.  The rest of the cast does what they came to do: act scared and die badly.

There are a few odd moments that detract from the film, most glaringly a sequence where Craig is telling a ghost story but is never seen.  The director has stated that he shot Craig for the sequence, but the film was ruined and unusable, which results in the scene showing only Peter, Joanie and Ingrid listening and reacting to Craig.  The opening murder sequence is also somewhat stilted, with no actions from the killer shown, only bloody water and screaming from the actress, making it the oddest and worst-executed death scene of any Nasty I've watched so far.

Mainstream movie critics (Ebert, Maltin, and other know-nothing clowns) deride Don't Go In The Woods as a miserable failure, but remember my old saying: "If Ebert hated it, it's probably good."  And good this one is.  It's fun, it's gory, and...well, that's about it, but that's enough for me.  I'm still not sure how this one ended up being successfully prosecuted, especially since when finally submitted for classification in the UK it ended up getting a 15 and not an 18 as most Nasties have received when finally approved for British consumption.  The ultra-bloody murder of the painter alone has more gore than Halloween, Friday The 13th and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre combined.  Even bad movie lovers like me have come down on this picture for supposedly bad effects, but I'm not sure they were watching the same movie I was.  Or maybe I'm easy to please.  Either way, there's no denying that the title tune is a classic:

 

 

Word.

 

So that's it.  Get yourself a copy of this one (maybe borrow one before purchasing, you may not like it as much as I did), give it a watch, have some fun and maybe a scare or two.  I'll be sure to stay out of these particular woods.  And I won't go in any alone.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

Mater Lachrymarum: The Third Mother

La Terza Madre

2007

 

IF SHE LIVES, WE ALL DIE.

Thirty years after it began, Dario Argento released the conclusion to The Three Mothers Trilogy.  And while I may be in the minority, I think it was worth the wait.

Sara Mandy (Asia Argento) is a research assistant who opens a long-buried box containing some weird statuettes and a blood red tunic.  Unknown to Sara, the box contains artifacts belonging to Mater Lachrymarum, The Mother Of Tears (Moran Atias), youngest, cruelest, and most beautiful of the ancient witches known as The Three Mothers.  And with the unearthing of the artifacts, she has awoken.  Demons appear in the research facility, tearing the curator apart in a brutal attack that is exceedingly violent, even for Maestro Argento.  Sara escapes with the help of a disembodied voice in her head (Daria Nicolodi, Asia's real-life mother and co-creator of the Three Mothers trilogy), and away we go.  Mater Lachrymarum dons her tunic and Rome is suddenly an orgy of unhindered, disturbing violence.  Mothers murder their children, random rapes and attacks become the norm, and the churches begin to burn.  The Mother Of Tears is ushering in The Second Age Of Witches.

While neither the most artistic (Suspiria) or most accomplished (Inferno) of the trilogy, La Terza Madre (The Third Mother) is still a satisfying end to the series.  Although the lengthy gap between the second and thirds films notes some changes in style and focus for Argento, he is still able to deliver on the eerie, hypnotic feel present in Suspiria and Inferno, while considerably amping up the brutality.  Indeed, while we remember these first two for their gory setpieces, the violent scenes in La Terza Madre are bloodier, more protracted, and take turns that Argento wouldn't have attempted as a younger filmmaker.  And as the behind-the-scenes footage attests, he still likes to get in on the action (Argento is notorious for playing the killer in his films, albeit only his hands are ever shown, wielding all kinds of sharp implements, in this case a meat cleaver).

The acting is strong in some places, weaker in others.  Asia Argento is not the world's greatest actress, but she handles the role of the terrorized Sara just fine, knowing when to scream, when to run, when to look confused, and when to take a shower.  Israeli actress Moran Atias appears as Mater Lachrymarum (a role originated in Inferno by Ania Pieroni, now retired from acting and too old for the part), a role that calls for melodramatic flourishes and gobs of nudity (she is at most semi-dressed in all of her scenes, the constant nakedness drawing a parallel between herself and the deviant sexuality of her followers).  My favorite performer in the film is of course Udo Kier, the brilliant German character actor (previously seen in Suspiria as a college professor who provides key information to Suzy Banyon, whom Kier's character mentions in La Terza Madre, a meta moment that film geeks like me swoon for).  Kier plays Father Johannes, a kindly priest who again provides our heroine with important knowledge she will need to survive.  All in all, the cast is good, but not quite on par with the powerhouse performances found in the earlier Mothers films.  (Incidentally, one of those cast members recently passed away.  We lost Mater Tenebrarum, Veronica Lazar, on June 8th, 2014.  She was 75.)

The score of La Terza Madre is provided by ex-Goblin Claudio Simonetti and his heavy metal combo Daemonia, although the score he provided resembles Keith Emerson's keyboards n' choir noise from Inferno more than it does the Simonetti-penned Suspiria.  Sergio Stivaletti provides the special effects, a genre veteran who has worked with Argento since Phenomena in 1985, and with Argento's brilliant protege Michele Soavi, as well as sitting in the director's chair himself, beginning with The Wax Mask, a project originally intended to be the first collaboration between Argento and Lucio Fulci (Fulci's death sadly kept that dream from becoming reality).  He pulled out all the stops for La Terza Madre, as eyes, limbs, faces, throats and guts are all ripe for destruction.  Mater Lachrymarum shows no mercy, and neither does Stivaletti.  The Italian theatrical cut was shorn of gore to receive the teen-friendly 14 rating, but these scenes were thankfully restored for the unrated home release.

For a long time after becoming acquainted with the work of Argento, I was convinced this film would never be made.  He had at one point been quoted as saying that Inferno was the end of the series since Mater Lachrymarum does make an appearance, thus making it the only one of the films to feature two of the three witches.  It has been reported that as early as 1984, Daria Nicolodi (co-writer of the first two films and the only person to appear in all three) had written a script for the third film, but this was scrapped, likely contributing to (or because of) the end of her romantic relationship with Argento.  Scripts came and went over the years, until Argento finally hired some co-writers and really focused on making it.  The end result is different in tone than his earlier efforts, being blunt and punishing compared to the ethereal wonder of Suspiria and Inferno...but really, what's wrong with that?  It's still very much Argento: a story that never quite makes sense, elaborate sets, the sense that the characters are all alone, never really a part of the real world.  The biggest differences come from the advances in cinema technology, and the use of CGI in one sequence feels totally out of place.  Practical effects bring more to the proceedings, making the otherworldliness of the Three Mothers stories believable in a way that hokey computer trickery can't.  Thankfully, there is only one brief CGI effect in La Terza Madre and it doesn't take you out of the dream too much.

If you've seen Suspiria and Inferno, you'd be crazy not to watch this one.  If you haven't seen Suspiria and Inferno, you'd be crazy not to run right out and watch them right now.  Cheers to anyone who watches the entire Three Mothers trilogy in one stretch.  And now I bid you adieu, for there is much to accomplish on this Summer evening...like maybe taking in another Nasty.  It's been too damn long.  Maybe it's time for some Nazis.  Or cannibals.  Or something malformed and creepy.  And don't open ancient urns from unmarked graves.  I'll heed that advice.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

We Are Again Experiencing Technical Difficulties... Please Stand By...

My dear friends,

It is with a large amount of frustration that I come to inform you that VCR Rebellion will be on forced hiatus for (I hope) a short time.  This action is taken due to circumstances beyond our control.  My personal computer has suffered some kind of cyber embolism and I am lackadaisical about repairing or replacing it.  I write this communique on a terminal borrowed from the lovely and always gracious N. Credible, who has facilitated all ventures thus far.  We humbly thank you for taking the time to check out this page.

My name's Justin.  JustinCase.

PS - Support your local video store!

Mater Tenebrarum: The Second Mother

Video Nasty #26

 

TERROR THAT'S HOTTER THAN HELL!

 

 

Inferno

1980

 

 

COME FACE TO FACE WITH HELL.

 

NTSC Running Time: 106:08

Directed by Dario Argento

Written by Dario Argento, from a story by Daria Nicolodi

Produced by Claudio Argento, Salvatore Argento & Guglielmo Garroni

Additional Effects & Direction by Mario Bava

2nd Unit Direction by Lamberto Bava

Starring: Leigh McCloskey, Irene Miracle, Eleonora Giorgi, Daria Nicolodi, Alida Valli, Ania Pieroni, Gabriele Lavia, and Veronica Lazar

Body Count: 8, plus a bag full of cats (simulated), a mouse (genuine), and [Spoiler Censored]

Availability: Region 1 BluRay/DVD from Blue Underground.

 

 

BBFC Status

 

Why it's a Nasty: Animal cruelty.  But I bet the gore helped.

What was cut: Footage of a cat eating a mouse was excised from the cinema release in March of 1980.  Additional cuts were made for the 1987 video release to a scene purporting to show a cat being abused.  A slightly longer version dropped 8 seconds of cuts for video release in 1993.

Current BBFC status: The uncut version of Inferno was granted an 18 certificate on June 8, 2010.

UK Availability: All-Region BluRay/DVD from Arrow Video

Inferno was seized, but escaped prosecution.

 

You didn't think I'd forgotten my promise to cover the Three Mothers trilogy, did you?  Well, I couldn't wuss out on watching this second film as it's the only one to make the Nasties list...but I hadn't forgotten.

 

In New York City, Rose Elliot (Irene Miracle) is engrossed in an old book titled The Three Mothers which tells of three ancient witches who control the world: Mater Suspiriorum, the Mother of Sighs; Mater Tenebrarum, the Mother of Darkness; and Mater Lachrymarum, the Mother of Tears.  The book is written by an Italian architect who claims to have built homes for all three, one each in Freiberg, Rome, and New York.  She fires off a letter to her brother before having an ominous and surreal adventure that nearly results in her death.

 

In Rome, Mark Elliot (Leigh McCloskey) is a music student who is opening his sister's letter in class when he becomes captivated by a mysterious beauty (Ania Pieroni).  The woman leaves and he pursues, leaving the letter behind.  Sara (Eleanora Giorgi) takes the letter to give to him later, but cannot overcome her curiosity and reads it.  She begins an investigation of her own...

 

My descriptions are somewhat vague for a reason.  You need to see Inferno.  I want you to be interested enough to seek it out.

 

Like Suspiria, Inferno comes from an idea had by Argento's then-girlfriend Daria Nicolodi, who is uncredited on the film.  After fighting tooth and nail to get her writing credit for Suspiria, Nicolodi decided that she didn't want to waste the energy it would take to win a victory over Argento's colossal ego and didn't pursue the matter.

 

Working through a debilitating illness during the shooting, this is nevertheless Argento in top form.  Every nuance of the film seems honed to perfection.  This film does not fuck around.  Inferno captivates.  Everything from sets to cinematography to dialogue are perfectly crafted.  The colors are almost as intense as those seen in Suspiria.  The climax is operatic, though no one sings.  (Leigh McCloskey performed the stunts in the final sequence himself, and it must have been terrifying.)  There are multiple events that would require explanation in any other film, but Inferno's relentless pace and dreamlike atmosphere cause the viewer to accept these happenings as they are without question, a remarkable feat for the discerning filmgoer.

 

Inferno probably would have been left alone by the BBFC despite the gory murder sequences because of its quality.  Anyone can see that this is masterful cinema.  But the inclusion of some intense footage involving animals is something the BBFC still takes a strong stance on, and the film was cut accordingly.  The main focus was the genuine footage of a cat eating a mouse, somewhat clumsily edited in near the end of the film.  It reminded me of a similar scene in The Burning (See Video Nasty #17), and plays as though they happened to get the footage and it was too good not to use.  One character is overly abusive to the neighbourhood cats, slapping them around, then drowning them in a burlap sack, and cuts were made to those scenes when the film went to video.  (The cats were not actually harmed.)

 

Inferno features the work of Mario Bava, who contributed to the spectacular effects at the climax of the film, as well as creating the New York skyline for some exterior shots.  Because Dario Argento was battling acute hepatitis during the shoot and at one point couldn't get out of bed, leaving only Lamberto Bava's second unit filming, rumor has it that Mario Bava (Lamberto's father) also directed the "underwater ballroom" sequence.  No matter what the actual extent of the elder Bava's contributions to the picture, his expertise is nothing but an asset.  Sadly, he died of a heart attack on April 27, 1980.  This was the last picture he worked on.

 

As I said before, you need to see Inferno.  It's a classic of horror cinema and an all-around great film.  The Three Mothers trilogy was left unfinished until 2009 when The Mother Of Tears was released, and I'll be covering that one later.  Until then, frequent your local bookshops.  Find an old book that looks interesting.  But maybe don't take it too seriously.  It could lead to trouble.  I'll be sticking to fiction.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

Deserted Schools & Power Tools!

Video Nasty #25

 

 

 



WHEN THE KIDDING STOPS...THE KILLING STARTS!

 

Pranks

1981

 



 

A CRASH COURSE IN TERROR!

 

 

 

Original Title: Death Dorm

Alternate Title: The Dorm That Dripped Blood

Running time: 88:02 (Death Dorm Director's Cut)

Directed and Edited by Jeffrey Obrow and Stephen Carpenter

Written by Stephen Carpenter, Jeffrey Obrow, and Stacey Giachino

Produced by Jeffrey Obrow and Stacey Giachino

Cinematography by Stephen Carpenter

Starring: Laurie Lapinsky, Stephen Sachs, David Snow, Pamela Holland, Dennis Ely, Woody Roll, and Daphne Zuniga

Body Count: 10

Available on Region 1 BluRay/DVD from Synapse Films

 



BBFC Status







Why it's a Nasty: Gore murders.

What was cut: Never certified for cinema release before the Nasty panic, Pranks took 10 seconds of cuts to the drill murder for an 18 certificate for video release on July 1, 1992.

Current UK status: A DVD release on May 4, 2001 was also the cut 18-cert version.

Pranks was seized, but was not found to be obscene.

 

What is it about the 1980s?  The hair is feathered, the clothes are awesome, and every single guy is a total pig.  Gotta love that dated kitschyness.

 

A man ducks under a fence for unknown (but likely nefarious) purposes.  We never find out, as he is murdered immediately in another great shock opener with no relation to the rest of the film.

 

Grad student Joanne (Laurie Lapinsky) is staying at school over Winter break with Patti (Pamela Holland), Craig (Stephen Sachs, who was also stunt coordinator for the picture), Brian (David Snow), and Debbie (Daphne Zuniga, in her film debut).  Charged with selling off all of the furniture in the place, they have two weeks before the power goes off and the dorm is demolished.  Brian and Joanne are flirty, and it looks to be a fun two weeks.

 

But then things stop going so swell: Debbie's grandmother has taken ill and she has to leave, a potential buyer comes on a little too strong, and there's this weird guy skulking around.  What the others don't realize at first is a grisly sojourn for the audience: Debbie's father beaten with a nail-studded bat, her mother strangled, and Debbie herself has her head crushed like a melon.  Their unknown assailant makes off with the bodies, and the saga of Death Dorm commences.

 

Directed by the tag-team of Stephen Carpenter and Jeffrey Obrow (without monitors!), this is a good slasher flick, with effects by Matthew Mungle (The Midnight Meat Train, Edward Scissorhands) that do not disappoint.  The film is too dark in places, and almost every male character is either crazy or a creep.  On the plus side, the film is never boring and the denouement shocked me.  This movie isn't "fun" exactly, but it's a decent slasher that delivers the goods.

 

This new release from Synapse is not the version released to theatres or video.  Rather, it is a once-lost longer version with extended scenes.  Most of these extensions consist of characters walking or talking, but there are also longer versions of the bat beating and drill murder, meaning that if this version had been released to video in the UK, it may not have escaped judicial punishment.

 

So the next time your boyfriend wants to go skiing, you should tag along, lest you find yourself trapped with a homicidal madman.  I'm gonna start packing for that trip now.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

Join Us...

Video Nasty #24

 

The Evil Dead

1981

 



THE ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE IN GRUELING TERROR!

 

NTSC Running time: 85:12

Written and Directed by Sam Raimi

Produced by Bruce Campbell, Robert Tapert, and Sam Raimi

Edited by Edna Ruth Paul and Joel Coen

Starring: Bruce Campbell, Ellen Sandweiss, Richard DeManincor (credited as Hal Delrich), Betsy Baker, and Theresa Tilly (credited as Sarah York)

Body Count: 4

Availability: Region 1 BluRay, DVD, and NTSC VHS from Anchor Bay.

 

BBFC Status

 

Why it's a Nasty: Comedic amounts of gore, and a very bizarre rape scene.

What was cut: 49 seconds of cuts to gore sequences were required to obtain an X certificate when the film was submitted for classification on October 4, 1982 for the UK theatrical release.  (It is important to note that the X-certificate version was the cut released on videocassette that landed on the Nasties list.)  When finally submitted for video release on March 15, 1990, an additional 1 minute 6 seconds of cuts to scenes of gore and the trees' attack on Cheryl.

Current UK status: The Evil Dead was finally released uncut March 2, 2001 with an 18 certificate.

UK Availability: Region 2 BluRay and DVD from Sony.
A prosecution of The Evil Dead was attempted, but dismissed by the judge, one Owen Stable QC, who has earned a place in my heart for his awesomeness in the matter of this film.  More on this later.

Five young adults head for a remote cabin in the woods for a weekend of drinking and fun.  Ash (short for Ashley, played by Bruce Campbell), his sister Cheryl (Ellen Sandweiss), girlfriend Linda (Betsy Baker), Ash's joker pal Scotty (Hal Delrich), and Scotty's girlfriend Shelly (Sarah York) are a likable bunch, though we don't have a whole lot of time to get to know them under normal circumstances.  Weird things start happening almost immediately when Scotty loses control of the car and nearly slams them into a truck.  They arrive at the cabin (in a beautiful tracking shot, one of the best in the film) and settle in, looking forward to a relaxing, unsupervised vacation.

It is not to be.

The kids find a book bound in human flesh in the basement, along with a tape recorder left behind by the previous occupant.  Playing the tape, they unwittingly unleash horrible spirits.  Cheryl, who is single and therefore the only one spending time alone, heads into the woods that night to investigate strange voices...wearing only a robe.  Once away from the cabin, the trees around her come alive.  Vines restrain her, tear open her clothes...and she is finally vaginally penetrated by a large branch.  She escapes and returns to the cabin, an unseen something in hot pursuit.  But unfortunately for our heroes, they have already been doomed.

One of the most widely respected horror films of all time, The Evil Dead was the feature directing debut of Sam Raimi, who is now a successful mainstream director (the Spider-Man trilogy, A Simple Plan, Oz The Great And Powerful).  This independent horror film was shot under the title Book Of The Dead, changed to The Evil Dead by producer Irvin Shapiro, who reportedly thought people wouldn't go to a film that mentioned reading (which is codswallop, but whatever).  The film builds slowly, but relentlessly, and is never boring.  The blood doesn't really begin to flow until the second half, and steadily becomes more intense until the splatter-filled climax.

Hundreds of pages have already been written about the grueling production of The Evil Dead, and if you're interested I recommend http://www.bookofthedead.ws for online info, and in book form go with Bill Warren's The Evil Dead Companion, a comprehensive look at the creation of the film from idea to franchise.  That's right, franchise.  Raimi made Evil Dead 2 in 1987, a comedic remake of the first film with gobs more multi-colored gore; and Army Of Darkness in 1992, an action comedy in which Ash battles an army of skeletal deadites in medieval times.  While Raimi's love of The Three Stooges shines through more in these later films, it is still present in The Evil Dead, but the comedy aspects of the first film are almost completely overshadowed by the dark, unrelenting violence.  Bruce Campbell has to carry much of the film on his own (was indeed the only starring cast member present for the entire shoot, with heavily made-up "fake shemps" filling in for the already-possessed), and has grown to be a respected actor and cult hero based on his trio of performances as Ash.  Rumor has it he makes a cameo in the 2013 remake of The Evil Dead in a post-credits scene, which I am anxiously awaiting my chance to screen. (Also of note is the 2011 post-slasher opus The Cabin In The Woods which draws heavily from The Evil Dead, as well as the stories of H.P. Lovecraft.  The Cabin In The Woods cannot truly be appreciated without a knowledge of modern horror film in general and The Evil Dead in particular, and is a treat from beginning to end.)

All in all, this is one of the finest horror films to come out of America in the 1980s, and is required viewing for any fan of horror cinema.  It is one of the most notorious Nasties, and was subject of an amazing legal decision in the UK.  The Evil Dead was submitted to the BBFC for cinema and was awarded an 18 certificate after 49 seconds of film were cut.  The films distributor, Palace Pictures, released this version to video simultaneous with its' release in cinemas on February 24, 1983.  I would like to remind you that this particular Video Nasty wasn't even uncut and had been approved for public cinema exhibition by the BBFC.

Then the Video Nasty panic descended, with The Evil Dead being among 51 other films named as Nasties in June of the same year.  Vocal censorship advocate Mary Whitehouse showed scenes from the film, along with scenes from other Nasties, in the House Of Commons, and Palace Pictures was raided by police.  In 1984, a court in Leeds acquitted a video shop, Barker's Video Tape Centre, of obscenity charges, and Palace's lawyers wrote to the DPP requesting they drop all pending charges against the film.  The DPP said fuck you and went ahead with more prosecutions against The Evil Dead.

Oops.

Sam Raimi flew to England prepared to defend his film in the Summer of 1984, but was told that his intentions as a filmmaker were not on trial and he went back to America without a chance to state his case.  It didn't matter.  On November 7, 1984, following a screening for judge and jury, the presiding judge, Owen Stable QC (to my non-British readers, that stands for Queen's Counsel, which means that if the law were martial arts, a QC would be akin to Chuck Norris) reamed the DPP a new one, saying no, fuck you, they were irresponsible in continuing to bring charges against this film after the decision in Leeds, foolish for ignoring the request to cease litigation they received from Palace's solicitors, and forcing them to pay the defense costs incurred from the four-month court battle.  Just basically telling them they were clowns who didn't know when they were beat.  The Evil Dead was removed from the Nasties list in September of 1985 and the BBFC teamed with the British Video Association to figure out how to best regulate home video.

In the whole of the Nasty saga, this was where justice came closest to prevailing.  Picturing the scene of Judge Stable verbally bitchslapping the DPP in open court for their persecution of The Evil Dead brings tears to my eyes.  If anyone has audio or (dear lord do I dare to dream it?) video of this, VCR Rebellion would very much like to obtain it.  Preferably on cassette.  Such an event requires the ultimate in media storage.

The BBFC refused to pass the film for video until 1990, and removed an additional 1m 6sec before they would allow The Evil Dead in British living rooms and dens.  Not until 2001 was the film available uncut, when Anchor Bay brought the film to VHS and DVD...and FilmFour brought it to television.  Today, The Evil Dead is rightfully available in all its' glory in the UK.

My thanks to the Book Of The Dead website for the wealth of info available (again, that's http://www.bookofthedead.ws), including an archive of newspaper cuttings from the Video Nasty era that I'm still drooling so hard over that I can't read them - I get too excited and can't focus.  I'll have to calm down, I'm going to need that knowledge.  The Rebellion is fueled by it.  And I don't want to run out of fuel.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

Green Light!

While I've been away, a lot has happened and I haven't had the time (or the energy) to keep the Rebellion running at a level where it is truly a Norse to be reckoned with.

I may never have been at that level...but this has been a new low.  It's been a year since I've watched a genuine official Video Nasty.

Part of this is due to the constraints of life: I have been working full-time, whereas I was unemployed when we began - and it's no coincidence that my youngest child just turned 1.

But part of this is not due to such mundane events.  I'll fess up: I've kind of been stalling.  I have been stymied by Expose, James Kenelm Clarke's 1976 sex thriller starring Udo Kier and Fiona Richmond.  As the only Nasty to actually come from Great Britain, it was rarely seen elsewhere.  A cut R-rated American VHS is available (the US title is The House On Straw Hill), but that is not my quarry.  My eyes have been searching for the Intervision release, the banned UK tape that landed on the DPP list of prosecutable films.  And such a tape is:

A - is not likely to be sitting in a book or video shop in Southern California,

and

B - would most likely cost many hundreds of pounds if I were able to locate one.

But just the other day, I saw this!

The House On Straw Hill

The bottom dropped from my stomach.  My pulse accelerated.  It was too good to be true!  But true it is.  A BluRay/DVD combo R1 release done with the involvement of director Clarke that claims to be sourced from the uncut print.  This is news that makes me happier than it has any right to.  I'm betting this film is a cut above most of the others (has, in fact, been ranked as the best film of the bunch by someone who has seen them all), and only its' scarcity has kept it from being more appreciated.

There are a few other films (Human Experiments, The Slayer) that will be difficult to locate, but a whole lot less impossible.  There are a few films that need better releases (Evilspeak, Toxic Zombies), but what is out there is acceptable for my purposes.  I've felt like there's been someone standing in front of me saying "Red light...red light..." for a long time, and now they've finally turned their back so I can progress to the next phase.

And the next phase is what it will certainly be.  Once I view the next Nasty (most likely Dario Argento's Inferno, see previous post), I will have seen a third of the list...and then some, since there are some films (The Evil Dead and Cannibal Holocaust to name a sampling) that I've already seen but not yet covered here.  I think it's time to do a little research and release the brake.  But I'll check my blind spots first.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

Mater Suspiriorum: The First Mother

Suspiria

1977



THE ONLY THING SCARIER THAN THE LAST FIVE MINUTES ARE THE FIRST 90!



American dancer Suzy Banyon (Jessica Harper) enrolls in a German ballet academy, but dancing is one thing she does very little of.  Overtaken by a mysterious illness, with only her friend Sara (Stefania Casini) for comfort, Suzy and Sara are drawn into the mysteries of their alma mater.  Who murdered Pat, a former student?  Where do the teachers go at night?  And why has no one ever seen the headmistress?

Written with then-girlfriend Daria Nicolodi (who can be seen on the left side of your screen as Suzy arrives at the airport, and features in both Inferno and Tenebre), Dario Argento's Suspiria is not only the first chapter in a trilogy that wasn't finished for thirty years, it is one of the few strong horror films that is appreciated by both genre fans and "serious" film critics.  Printed with the Technicolor 3-strip process, Suspiria boasts a palette of ultra-vivid colors that overwhelm the eyes, while the score by Italian prog-rockers Goblin assaults the ears, combining to create an experience like no other.  Argento collaborated on the music with Goblin before production began, which let him play it at top volume while filming to scare the shit out of the actors.  It totally worked: fear permeates every frame.

The little touches seem to mean everything: placing certain doorknobs at head-height to the actresses, making them seem to be little girls in a monstrous world; Claudio Simonetti hissing half-heard words on the soundtrack to punctuate important moments; Suzy protecting herself with nearby crystal-plumed bird (self-referential much, Dario?).  Every shot seems hand-crafted for perfection.  Though the parts are little more than a series of setpieces, the whole becomes more and more until we aren't quite sure where we are anymore.  Jessica Harper, fresh from her starmaking performance in Brian DePalma's The Phantom Of The Paradise, brings the right amount of confusion and awareness to Suzy.  Joan Bennett and Alida Valli supply the right amount of old-guard haughtiness and arrogance as the school's administrator and instructor.  Udo Kier makes an appearance too, stealing the show during every second of his all-too-brief role (I love me some Udo Kier, he's captivating, sexy, and a top-notch actor who doesn't get enough praise).

While not a giallo film, Suspiria still has all of Argento's trademarks: a protagonist who knows too much, but doesn't understand the information; a brutal murderer of which we see only their hands; over-the-top murder setpieces; a pounding rock score; a sinister mystery only the protagonist can solve.  It's classic Argento, one of his finest, and well worth watching...though if you're reading my page, I'm betting you've seen it already.  Well, watch it again.  I know I will.

The second chapter in The Three Mothers Trilogy, Inferno, is a Video Nasty and will be reviewed here soon.  The third part, The Mother Of Tears, wasn't made until recently (2009), and will also be featured here.  Cuz that's how I roll.

Until next time, my fellow rebels, I bid you farewell.  Remember: Be Kind, Rewind.  Watch out for falling maggots.  And don't trust seeing-eye dogs.  These friendly reminders will keep you safe, and I'll make sure I follow them, too.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

...still in hiding...but not for long...

(shhh...the rebellion has been forced underground for the last long while by an unfeeling force of evil sucking the lifeforce and will from your tour guide and chronicler so we can only bring you this short message but if youre still out there we are marshaling our forces to burst back into the daylight and resume our work of preserving what some want lost and others cannot forget stay safe stay sane look out behind you and hold steady i will do the same because my names justin...JustinCase.)

A Chain Reaction...Of Uncontrollable Mayhem!

Video Nasty #23

Blood Bath

1971

THE SECOND MOVIE RATED "V" FOR VIOLENCE.



13 CHARACTERS, 13 MURDERS.

THEY CAME TO PLAY, THEY STAYED TO DIE.

Original Italian title: either Reazione A Catena (Chain Reaction) or Ecologia Del Delitto (Ecology Of A Crime)

Other alternate titles: See below.

NTSC Running Time: 84:03

Cinematography and Directed by Mario Bava

Written by Mario Bava, Fillipo Ottoni and Giuseppe Zaccariello; from a story by Franco Barberi and Dardano Sacchetti

Produced by Giuseppe Zaccariello

Starring: Claudine Auger, Luigi Pistilli, and Laura Betti

Body Count: 13

Availability: Region 1 DVD from Image as Twitch Of The Death Nerve; from Anchor Bay as part of The Mario Bava Collection Volume 2 as Bay Of Blood

BBFC Status

Why it's a Nasty: Cuz it's really fucking violent.

What was cut: When originally submitted for classification on April 6, 1972 as A Bay Of Blood (the title under which it appears on all BBFC sanctioned releases), this film was rejected.  After being released as Blood Bath by Hokushin Video and making the Nasties list, A Bay Of Blood was awarded an 18 certificate on March 18, 1994. Four of the murder scenes were trimmed to varying degrees, totaling PAL 43 seconds.

Current UK status: On August 31, 2010, A Bay Of Blood once again received an 18 with an additional 4 seconds of footage, lowering the cuts to PAL 39 seconds.

UK Availability: It looks like you can import American releases, but the most recent 18 cert version is a Region 2 DVD from Arrow Video.

Blood Bath was successfully prosecuted under the Obscene Publications Act, making it one of the DPP39.

A Note About Titles: Sources differ on the actual title of this film.  It went under several monikers while still being produced, the best known of these being Ecologia Del Delitto, Reazione A Catena, and Antefatto.  While its' title when it became a Video Nasty was Blood Bath, and the title A Bay Of Blood is both appropriate and accepted as an "official" title, I'm amazed the whole retitling debacle wasn't solved once and for all when some genius came up with Twitch Of The Death Nerve.  I'm going with that one.  I like it.

Take off that silly hat and stand tall.  Mario Bava just walked in.  What'd he do?  He was critical to the development of the American slasher film in 1971, with a film that has so many titles no one knows what the real one is anymore...or if it ever really had one.

Countess Donati (Isa Miranda) rolls through her mansion in the dead of night...until she is waylaid and hung by a mustachioed man who is faking her suicide.  A quick ending for a giallo, until the killer is himself stabbed to death by someone unseen.  Thus begins the bloodthirsty wormturning mini-saga of (soap) operatic proportions.

With this opening salvo, Bava has such fun with the giallo conventions, making us think that it won't be a giallo at all by revealing the killer's face in the first scene, then using our confusion against us to strike when most effective for the audience.

So why did this film, otherwise a footnote compared to other of Bava's films, have such an impact on the American slasher film?  Conceived by Bava and actress Laura Betti as an excuse to work together again after the previous year's Il Rosso Segno Della Follia (The Red Sign Of Madness, released as Blood Brides in the UK and Hatchet For The Honeymoon in the US), the story is nothing more than a framing device for gore murder sequences, with a shock ending that seems almost unreal.  This film is the direct antecedent of Friday The 13th and A Nightmare On Elm Street.  It's mean, violent, and unrepentant.  It's a damn good portrayal of some of the baser aspects of human nature.

The setting (woodsy...or so you think, Bava was so good that he made the sparsely wooded location seem a wild forest through miniatures and masterful camera operation) and the gimmick (almost every character to step on screen being murdered with liberal gore) became a cliche of horror films, especially American horror films, with the 1980 release of Sean Cunningham's Friday The 13th.  The next year, Friday The 13th Part 2 lifted two scenes wholesale from Twitch Of The Death Nerve: a hatchet to the face and a couple making love impaled on the same spear, done almost shot-for-shot as Bava had brought to the screen ten years before.  The arrival of some dumb teenagers who only care about drugs and sex in the second reel of Twitch also provided inspiration, inspiration that B-filmmakers are still running with today.  Had it been done before?  Sure, of course, but this is Mario Bava we're talking about, and even on a mediocre day (which this most certainly was), Bava knew how to bring it on home.  There's no point to this film save one: gory murders.  That's the only reason we're here.  One of the taglines above says it and means it: 13 Characters, 13 Murders...the surprise being who's behind that last one.  The 14th?  You gotta see it to find out.

Track this one down.  Turn down the lights, roll a couple fatties or crack a nice chilled red, and watch the treachery and claret flow.  And if you've got rich relatives with a fat tract of land, let someone else have it.  You might not get rich, but you'll hold on to your life.  Just another piece of useful advice that I know I'll be following.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

Jungle Adventures...Cannibal Style!

Video Nasty #22

Prisoner Of The Cannibal God

1978

WHEN THE PRICE OF LUST IS DEATH...!

THEIR CULT WAS DEATH...THEIR LUST WAS FOR BLOOD!

Original Italian title: La Montagna Del Dio Cannibale

Other alternate titles: Mountain Of The Cannibal God, Slave Of The Cannibal God

NTSC Running time: 102:47 (restored version)

Directed by Sergio Martino

Written by Cesare Frugoni and Sergio Martino

Produced by Luciano Martino

Starring: Ursula Andress, Stacy Keach, Claudio Cassinelli, and Antonio Marsina

Body Count: 16

Animals Deliberately Killed: 2 (a lizard and a monkey)

Availability: Uncut Region 0 DVD from Blue Underground.

BBFC Status

Why it's a Nasty: Genuine animal cruelty, sexual deviance, and CANNIBALISM.

What was cut: The original X-certificate theatrical release (certified September 14, 1978) ran 96:15 and contained none of the animal violence.  It is unclear whether the original Video Nasty was this X version or a more complete, imported cut.  The film was awarded an 18 certificate for home media on March 26, 2001 after 2:06 of animal cruelty was cut.

Current UK status: A slightly longer cut (PAL 92:47 compared to the 2001 PAL 92:26) was certified 18 on July 7, 2009.

Availability: Region 0 DVD from Blue Underground, which I have on good authority from some British friends is not the 18 cert version, but fully uncut.

While we have already screened Apocalypse Domani, which (being Italian and featuring cannibalism) is considered a part of the Cannibal Boom trend, that film was not much akin to the others of that short-lived but still much-remembered movement.  La Montagna Del Dio Cannibale is much more in keeping with other Cannibal Boom films.

Susan Stevenson (Ursula Andress) lands in New Guinea searching for her husband, Henry.  She is met by her brother Arthur (Antonio Marsina), who takes her to the local authorities...who are done looking and want nothing to do with her.  Susan will not give up, and enlists the help of Henry's colleague and friend, Professor Edward Foster (Stacy Keach), an intrepid jungle explorer who knows his way around the local wilderness.  Edward knows that Henry has headed for a sacred and cursed mountain on a small island nearby, and Susan convinces him to take them there.  But both Susan and Edward have hidden motives for the journey, and both will stop at nothing to reach the mountain...a mountain that still shelters a primitive tribe of cannibals!

In 1972, Umberto Lenzi made Il Paese Del Sesso Selvaggio (aka Deep River Savages, which also made the Nasties list), which predates the other Italian cannibal films by five years, but set the tone for what came to be called the Cannibal Boom.  1977 saw Ruggero Deodato join in with Ultimo Mondo Cannibale (aka The Last Cannibal World, but probably best known as Jungle Holocaust), and Emanuelle E Gli Ultimi Cannibali (aka Emanuelle And The Last Cannibals, and the more misleading alternate title Trap Them And Kill Them) was my favorite cuddly pornographer Aristide Massaccesi's signature fusing of cannibal exploitation with the recurring soft porn Black Emanuelle character played by Laura Gemser (note the misspelling that distinguishes the Gemser character from the popular French nymphomaniac).  Hot on the heels of Lenzi, Deodato, and D'Amato came Sergio Martino. 

Italy is home to some of the most original and visionary directors of world cinema: Dario Argento, Federico Fellini, Michaelangelo Antonioni, Mario Bava, Sergio Leone, Lucio Fulci (some might argue with me on that last one...to which I reply with a screening of Paura Nella Citta Dei Morti Viventi and several slaps to the face).  Unfortunately, for every one of these talents, there is a Bruno Mattei, a Claudio Fragasso, a Sergio Martino: guys whose only talent is for copying other successful films because there is a paycheck attached...which comes with career longevity, apparently, since Martino has been working steadily since 1969.  He made some well regarded gialli (Il Tuo Vizia E Una Stanza Chiusa E Solo Io Ne Ho La Chiave, released in English speaking countries as Your Vice Is A Locked Room And Only I Have The Key starring exploitation darling Edwige Fenech, and I Corpi Presentano Tracce Di Violenza Carnale [which translates to The Bodies Bear Traces Of Sexual Violence], which was sold in English markets under the wildly misleading title of Torso.  A better title would have been Rip-off Of Frenzy With A Lot Of Naked Chicks And No Gore.  But whatever.), and whatever else studios would pay him to make.  He's competent...but not a visionary.

Mountain Of The Cannibal God is at heart an old-school adventure film.  The best thing about it is Stacy Keach, who is incredible.  The animal cruelty is a lizard gutted and a monkey fed to a python.  (Martino tries to deny any cruelty on his part in a DVD extra, which is soon followed by a frame-by frame analysis that proves this to be bullshit.  What a weiner.  Deodato did much worse in Cannibal Holocaust, and while he may be ashamed of it today, at least he doesn't try to weasel out of the responsibility.)  The monkey sequence is REALLY hard to watch, as you can see the terror in its' eyes as the python slowly squeezes it to death.  Riveting, frightening, a test of nerves and will.  If none of the above sounds good to you, I should probably mention that Andress is stripped nude, tied to a stake, and two female cannibals rub honey all over her.  James Bond does not come to her rescue...but she might survive.  I ain't tellin'.  You'll have to find out for yourself.

That's all for now, my friends, and I'll probably be away for a while.  I'm working long hours and will welcome another daughter in just a few days...but don't worry, I won't forget about you.  I'll leave a light burning and some sleazy VHS cassettes in case you drop by.  And when you're in the jungle, always do what your guide says.  Otherwise you might step in a bear trap...or worse.  I'll do the same.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

Apartment Available...But The Rent Is MURDER!

Video Nasty #21

The Toolbox Murders

1977

BIT BY BIT...BY BIT HE CARVED A NIGHTMARE!



WHAT HE DOES TO YOUR NERVES IS ALMOST AS FRIGHTENING AS WHAT HE DOES TO HIS VICTIMS!

NTSC Running time: 93:43

Directed by Dennis Donnelly

Written by Robert Easter, Ann N. Kindberg, and Neva Friedenn

Produced by Tony DiDio

Starring: Cameron Mitchell, Wesley Eure, Pamelyn Ferdin, Nicolas Beauvy, Marianne Walter

Body Count: 7

Availability: Uncut Region 0 DVD from Blue Underground

BBFC Status

Why it's a Nasty: Violence against women.

What was cut: Excisions totalling around 6 minutes was cut from the X-certificate version released theatrically, cutting footage from all of the murders and the bathtub scene.  The Toolbox Murders was finally awarded an 18 certificate for video on February 24, 2000 after 1 minute 46 seconds of cuts to the nailgun sequence.
Current UK Status: 18 Certificate version on Region 2 DVD from Cornerstone Media.
The Toolbox Murders was seized, but escaped prosecution.

The time: the late 1970s.  The place: San Fernando Valley, California.
An unseen figure pilots a Mercedes aimlessly, an evangelical preacher blasting from the sound system.  Tooling past an auto dealership, we get flashbacks of a dead girl falling out of a wrecked car.  The figure drives to an apartment complex, removes a toolbox from the trunk, and ruffles the hair of a passing child while making their way into the building.  Once inside, our killer murders a robed woman with a drill, another with a hammer.  The toolbox murders have begun...

Although it claims to be based on true events that happened in 1967, this is more exploitation gimmickry.  No related "true story" has surfaced.  The only theatrical feature from television director Dennis Donnelly, The Toolbox Murders uses up its' gruesomeness in the first half hour, leaving the remainder of the picture for psychological suspense and detective work.

But what an opening salvo it is.  The murderer's first spree is gruesome, though not as graphic as one might think, with cutaways and blood flying up from off camera providing the visceral thrills.  He kills three in rapid succession, then vanishes into the night.  A brief police procedural scene follows, then we are treated to the reaction of the neighbours, mainly those of the Ballard kids, Laurie (Pamelyn Ferdin) and her brother Joey (Nicolas Beauvy).  And then we reach the meat of the film, the reason why The Toolbox Murders is so well regarded among exploitation horror fans, the centerpiece sequence that is still censored in the UK.

We've already seen this girl, briefly, during the first murder sequence, dancing in her underwear in her apartment window.  The girl is played by Marianne Walter, a model in her first acting role, who brought a level of talent to the proceedings that the other female victims did not.  Where they were wooden and unbelievable, Walter is aware and animated.  The scene required her to go through different emotional states, is both a sex and a death scene, and she does it entirely in the nude.  The editing, music, and performances collide to become more than the sum of the parts and stand as powerful cinema even today.  From masturbating in the bath (the film is kind to both character and audience in allowing her to finish) to confusion as the killer enters, she displays the real conundrum one would face in that situation: do I defend myself or cover up?  She does both, but to no avail, getting hit several times with bolts from a nailgun and collapsing on a table in front of a large framed glamour shot...of herself.  My words don't do it justice.  It's a great piece of film.

It's also the last really exciting bit in the movie...and there's an hour left.  Laurie Ballard gets kidnapped by the killer, and he's batshit crazy, but the remaining drama, suspense, and detective work, even the long-time-coming climax and resolution are dulled.  Much like David Cronenberg's Scanners did five years later, the most impressive sequence arrives too early, leaving the rest of the film seem unimportant.  It's the cinematic equivalent of premature ejaculation.  This is why porno directors make great horror films...and sometimes people from horror films do great in porno.  Cinematographer Gary Gravers and poster-girl Marianne Walter both found more success in the adult film world, Gravers as cinematographer and director, Walter as an actress (as Kelly Nichols she won a Best Actress award for her work on 1983's In Love) and then as a hairstylist and makeup artist (for anyone reading this who might want to see some of her work without digging through old porno bins, she did styling for Sublime's "Wrong Way" video, and she did a damn good job).  Graver died in 2006, but Walter is still working and still proud of her work on The Toolbox Murders.  And good on her for that.

Most of the cast and crew is not so busy these days, it seems.  Pamelyn Ferdin has largely given up acting and is active in the animal rights movement (I'm still gonna watch uncut cannibal films, Pamelyn.  Sorry).  Dennis Donnelly has fallen off the map...but he did work with a guy I know on a film called Terminal Velocity back in the 1990s, so I might be able to get some more info on him.  One guy who makes an appearance who I've deftly avoided mentioning until now is Wesley Eure, best known as "the cute one" on the TV series Land Of The Lost.  His performance: average.  Not really great, but not bad either.  He's perfect for television.  So was a lot of the crew.  The Toolbox Murders seems like a TV movie with more blood and nudity.  In fact, the only main crewmember who seems to be working regularly these days is writer Ann Kindberg, who is currently producing Private Practice for ABC.  I hope she is as proud of this film as Marianne Walter.  She certainly should be.

Have I told you everything you could ever know or want to know about The Toolbox Murders?  The answer is: fuck no.  I'm no all-knowing repository of trivia, just a dude who's done a tiny amount of research.  Not only do I want to inform the reader, I hope you all get excited about this stuff and do some research of your own (and yes, renting Kelly Nichols movies counts as "research").  And remember, when you lock your door at night, turn the deadbolt.  That stupid chain thing can easily be cut by a loony in a ski mask with a toolbox.  I'm triple locking my house tonight.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.

A Quick Jump Into The Light Before Delving Back Into The Shadows.

I haven't seen a Nasty in over two months.  Yes, it's getting to me.

Due to numerous family and working commitments, my cinematic enjoyment time has shrunk to nearly nothing.  I get a chance to see one film a week on average, and while the allure of vintage gore, girls, and gross exploitation is overwhelming, being near exhaustion makes the amount of research involved for each piece seem like a Herculean task.

Am I a whiny bitch?  Oh yeah.  Do I feel that I am shirking a duty that I voluntarily shouldered?  Uh-huh.  Do I feel totally guilty even though I have no deadline and answer to no one but myself?  Yup.  Did Joe D'Amato have anything to do with the script for Pieces?  I still don't know, but someday I will.

What I know for certain is this: the game will soon change, I've got a backlog of unwatched Nasties and related censorship martyrs to choose from, and there's too much at stake here for me to wuss out now.

At stake?  Nothing that exists outside my own head, and while that may not mean fuck-all to anyone else, it is of tantamount importance to myself.  And I'm excited.  Because there's no fluff here, no Hollywood, mainstream, saccharine bullshit.  Some of these films are shit.  Others will scorch the minds of the unworthy and leave them screaming for a return to sanity.  Either way, I think they're worth seeing at least once.

So I'm still here, I haven't forgotten, and I'll be back with the goods real soon.  And you can count on that.  Because my name's Justin.  JustinCase.